Two and a Half Men 2x13

Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów

& Charlie: Well, that’s the difference between wife and ex-wife. With ex-wife, you don’t even have to pretend to care.
    Alan: Well, I’m sorry. I can’t be that callous*.
    Charlie: Have you even tried?

& Alan: What are you afraid of?
    Charlie: Oh, let’s see. Large birds. Small bugs. Unplanned pregnancies... And your ex-wife living in my house.

& Alan: Come on, Charlie. She’s just a small, frightened woman.
    Charlie: There are no small, frightened women. That’s a myth. Perpetrated by the large, angry women who secretly run the world.

& Jake: This is really weird.
    Alan: Why? Your mom and I may not be living together anymore, but we’re still friends.
    Jake: I don’t flip off my friends when I talk to them on the phone.
    Charlie: Nice shooting. Two with one bullet.

---

& Judith: You know what, you haven’t changed at all. You’re still the same neurotic, overbearing, control freak I threw out.
    Alan: Neurotic? Maybe. Overbearing? Perhaps. But you know what? You’re not gonna throw me out, because I have changed. Tonight, I’m leaving you. ... As it turns out, a distinction without a difference.

& Alan: What do you want, Charlie?
    Charlie: Well... first of all, I’d like to know exactly how you managed... to let your ex-wife throw you out of my house. Because that’s the first thing people are gonna ask when I tell this story.
    Alan: She didn’t throw me out, I left!
    Charlie: Oh, good, there’s a twist. You see, that’s what makes a good story.

& Charlie: Man, I don’t know how he does it. I made a big play for her, nothing.
    Judith: She’s so young...
    Charlie: Yeah, some guys like that. I gotta hand it to you, Judith. You were very mature. I guess that’s because you’re a very mature woman.

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callous — черствый; бездушный; бессердечный

On the Imdb.