Hung 2x7

The Middle East Is Complicated

& Lenore: Don’t fuck it up, Ray. Okay? We need to get you a steady client that you fuck, but don’t fuck up.

& Lenore: Oh my God, Ray, what the fuck is this shit?
    Ray: It’s coffee.
    Lenore: Is this instant?
    Ray: Yeah, it wakes me up in the morning. It’s, you know, strong and cheap.

& Tanya: Charlie, Mike doesn’t even know that he’s a prostitute!
    Charlie: Ho always know it’s a ho.

& Tanya: I don’t know. I just... I don’t think I’m that kind of a person.
    Charlie: And what are you, huh? Are you some kind of new moral pimp?
    Tanya: I’m not moral! I’m just saying that I have feelings. I’m a pimp who feels.

& Tanya: It’s just I can’t relax. It’s just... it’s hot in here. You wanna play pool?
    Charlie: I think you should fuck me.
    Tanya: I... What?!
    Charlie: I’m just saying if you need to relax, then you can fuck me because I know how to calm them nerves. Yes, I do.

& Lotte: So Ronnie kill beaver, now you okay to make baby?

& Lotte: Old people go to garage, get pneumonia and die! House have four bedrooms: You, me, Damon, Darby. When baby comes, where will baby go?.. To grandma room. And grandma go to garage.

& Ray: What do you do?
    Mike: I don’t know. It just is, you know? It’s nice and... simple.
    Ray: Simple, ah. But what do you do?
    Mike: I don’t know. Whatever she wants. I hold the door open for her, I pull the chair out for her. Candy and flowers, Ray. I’m an old-fashioned guy.

& Samara: You like Middle Eastern food?
    Ray: Oh yeah. You know, my neighbor brings it over all the time. It’s good hummus.
    Samara: Yeah? Where is your neighbor from?
    Ray: Um... Uh, Israel, I think.
    Samara: You think?
    Ray: Yeah, I’m pretty sure. She’s from somewhere over there.
    Samara: You do know Israel’s not really the middle East, right?

---

& Samara: Richard?
    Ray: Yeah?
    Samara: About the hummus... Hummus isn’t from Israel. I mean, yes, Israelis do have hummus, but they took it from us.

& Ray: I have no idea where hummus comes from.
    Samara: And that is why I’m telling you. Hummus is from Lebanon. Or perhaps Syria or even Palestine.
    Ray: Okay.
    Samara: But not Israel. That’s my point.

& Dermatologist: You look familiar to me. Do you play squash?
    Jessica: Oh no, no squash. I’m completely uncoordinated.

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince — I Wanna Rock

♪ c-c-c-come on ♪
♪ oh yeah, rock the show... ♪
♪ rock ’n’ roll... ♪
♪ here we go, come on, rock the show. ♪

& Charlie: So you changed your mind...

& Ray: Are you okay?
    Yael: No, Ray. I am not okay. My husband fucks prostitutes and pays them on their PayPal account. He is the lowest form of human life!

& Yael: What is this?
    Ray: Uh... Oh it’s, uh, hummus.
    Yael: This is Arab hummus, Ray! Arabs can’t make hummus for shit. You want hummus, you have me make it for you.
    Ray: I thought hummus was from Lebanon...
    Yael: What?!
    Ray: I mean, you know... H-hummus... it means chickpea in Arabic.
    Yael: ... Oh my God, I can’t believe I fucked such an idiot!

& Charlie: You know what I would do with this Frances? Here. I would go up to her rich-ass door. I’d knock very politely. And if your ho answers, I’d crack him on the nose, kick him in the balls, burn his cheekbone with my cigarillo. And if the blue hair answers I’d hit her with my belt... Just a little, nothing serious. But hard enough that she don’t ever pull this kind of shit again.
    Tanya: I... can’t hit Frances with a belt.
    Charlie: No, I’m saying that’s what I would do. You gotta find what’s right for you.

& A head of a bookreaders club: Okay, ladies, we can take a seat. Well, let’s begin the way we always do. Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road,” what do we think? {...}
    Lenore: You want to know what I think?.. I think if there was an apocalypse and that guy and his kid crossed my path and I was hungry, I would hunt them down and I would rip them limb from limb. And I would salute them with some kale in a light white wine sauce. And then I would take the kid’s skull. And I would wear it. So that everybody would think twice before they crossed me. Then I would take the dad’s bones and I would design an accessory line that I would sell from a bombed-out Macy’s. Because that’s what’s going to happen to people who try to take what’s mine. When the apocalypse comes I’ll be fine. What about all of you?

& Ray: She’s my neighbor. She’s married.
    Samara: Just a married Israeli who brings over her hummus?..
    Ray: Just... a couple of times.
    Samara: What else does she bring you?
    Ray: Samara, what does it really matter?
    Samara: What does it matter?! Do you watch the news?
    Ray: What does the news have to do with us?
    Samara: You can’t fuck her and fuck me and then play neutral, Richard. That’s not how it works. You can’t pull that shit.
    Ray: I... I’m not pulling anything.
    Samara: Then choose a side. You fucked me and pretended to like me. Now you’ve got to take a stand. Whose side are you on, Richard? Whose hummus is better?
    Ray: Wow, Samara.
    Samara: Whose hummus do you like the most? Whose side are you on?

& Koontz: My wife thinks I fuck prostitutes, Ray.
They’re lying, Ray. I know they’re lying, but I don’t care. They make me feel good. I like my wife better than the hookers, Ray, I do. But I like myself when I’m with them.

♪ if you were the only ♪
♪ girl in the world ♪
♪ and I was the only boy ♪
♪ nothing else would matter in the world ♪
♪ today ♪
♪ oh, we’d go on loving ♪
♪ in the same old way ♪
♪ a garden of eden ♪
♪ just made for two ♪

--
On the Imdb.