Human Target 2x6

The Other Side of the Mall

Season 2, Episode 6

& Chance: I’ve told you before... I don’t like Christmas, never have, never will, even though you’re some kind of roly-poly* Santa in training or whatever.
    Winston: Did you just call me roly-poly?
    Chance: Did you just hire this guy to deliver Christmas stuff?
    Winston: A tree is good for business. Clients like it.
    Chance: This isn’t about clients. This is about you trying to instill in me some kind of Christmas spirit or something ridiculous like that.

& Ilsa: Please relay my holiday wishes to the rest of the team, and I look forward to continuing our work in the new year. Oh... And happy Christmas, Mr. Chance.
    Chance: Oh, “merry.” We say “Merry Christmas.”
    Ilsa: I know. It just sounds a bit silly.
    Chance: Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?

& Winston: Where’s she headed?
    Chance: Away.

& Guerrero: You got to be kidding me.
    Ames: Where are we?
    Chance: We’re in hell.

Run-DMC-Christmas In Hollis

& Guerrero: A janitor? Your cover is office temp? I’m a janitor?!
    Chance: You got something against an honest day’s work?
    Guerrero: Uh, yeah, actually, I do.

& Chance: I put a tracker on him when we shook hands.
    Guerrero: Just lifted his keys.
    Chance: I kind of like to think a placed tracker beats lifted keys, don’t you?
    Guerrero: No, I don’t. And while we’re, uh, sharing our opinions...

& Guerrero: Dude! What, you... Raised in a barn or something? Pick it up.

---

& Joel: Seriously, though, I feel like I owe you an apology. I mean, it’s one thing for me to live my crappy life, but making you do it, too, is just cruel and unusual.
    Ames: Are you kidding? Free hot dogs... If this ain’t living, I don’t know what is.

& Joel, a client’s son: Just a hot dog... With mustard. Mustard... yeah, we have, uh, great-quality mustard here. We, uh... we specially make it with our special ingredients, you know, to really, you know, bring out the flavors. So it’s not so, like, mustard-y, you know? Extra mustard, on the house.

& Chance: I’m literally... In hell.

& Chance: Where are you?
    Guerrero: Restocking.

& Chance: I’ve been shot at. I’ve been thrown out of an airplane, been generally mistreated by a lot of very bad people. But this bickering is pretty much more than I can take, so I’m gonna go outside and get some fresh air. When I get back, you two had better be calmed down, or we’re breaking out the ball gags.
    Richard, the client: Wow. He’s a good whistler too.

& Ames: We’ll just go out the window, climb down the trellis. No one’s gonna even know we’re gone.
    Joel: Seriously? You mean, like, sneak out? I’ve never actually done that before.
    Ames: Then, jeez, it’s time to pop your cherry... I mean, as far as sneaking out goes. That’s where the proverbial ’cherry popping’ stops.

& Joel: I don’t know.
    Ames: Oh, come on, take it from me, sometimes being bad can feel pretty good.

& Whoa! Joel Applebaum’s getting his ass kicked!
    Run, Joel, run.

& -Oh, holy Christmas!
    — Gnarly*. Is that dude with Joel Applebaum?
    Chance: Yeah, he is. Stay off drugs. I’ll be watching.

& Nick Meachem: Why are your feet on my desk? Who are you?
    Guerrero: The janitor. Have a seat.
    Nick: Get out of my office!
    Guerrero: You, Nick... are what we in the custodial arts like to call a real douche.

& Guerrero: My boss wants to talk to your boss. You’re gonna help. And I really hate having to explain myself to people in your position, so... Let’s just say, in this case, uh... It’s gonna involve this stapler.

& Klemah: How about... this afternoon in the mall where young Joel sells hot dogs? A nice public place, lots of innocent bystanders...

& Chance: I know we can protect you. What matters is whether or not you think you can do it. If you can’t, don’t worry about it. We’ll find another way. But if you ask me, in this life, you get pushed around just about as long as you don’t push back.

& Chance: Maybe I don’t have any idea what it’s like to have a family, but I do know how to protect one, better than anyone.

& Chance: Let Joel do this, we put these guys away, and you and your family get your lives back.
    Richard: But that is not something that you can absolutely promise, is it?
    Chance: I just did it.

& Chance: Where are you, Guerrero?
    Guerrero: Is this somebody’s idea of a joke? A janitor again?
    Winston: What are you complaining about? You see what I’m wearing?
    Chance: I thought you liked Christmas. Now, smile, will ya? You’re scaring the kids.

& Ilsa: Happy Christmas, Mr. Chance.
    Chance: Merry Christmas, Mrs. Pucci.


-- Dict:
roly-poly — неваляшка; коротышка; пухлый
Gnarly = something extreme


On Imdb.

__ Very nice Christmas episode.