The Engagement Reaction
Season 4, Episode 23
& Penny: Hey, do me a favor and take table seven.
Bernadette: You mean the one with my
Penny: Nah, I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend and his gorgeous, successful and sophisticated girlfriend, who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.
& Leonard: Uh, that’s my water.
Sheldon: What?
Leonard: My water. You’re drinking it.
Sheldon:
Leonard: Yes. It’s my water.
Sheldon: Well, that’s it then. I’m dead.
& Leonard: Here we go...
Sheldon: I’m sorry, do I really need to connect the dots for you?.. The backwash into this glass is every pathogen that calls your mouth home, sweet home. Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue of your subtropical girlfriend.
Raj: Hey! That’s my sister and my country you’re talking about. Leonard may have defiled* one, but I won’t have you talking smack about the other.
& Bernadette: You guys ready to order?
Sheldon: Yes, I’d like a seven-day course of penicillin, some, uh, syrup of ipecac... to induce vomiting... and a mint.
& Sheldon: I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit.
Leonard: You all right?
Sheldon: Fine. Thank you for asking. I love you so much.
& Leonard: What’s going on?
Howard: Bernadette and my mother are having a get-to-know-you lunch at the Old Town Deli.
Raj: Oh, that sounds lovely.
Howard: Hope so. Of course, if history is any indication, my mother will swallow her whole and spit out her bones like an owl.
Leonard: Have you met Bernadette’s parents?
Howard: You mean Adolf and Eva?
& Raj: Sheldon, that’s my water.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord!
Leonard: That’s not your water.
Raj: I know.
& Howard: Ma, I’m home! Where are you?
Ma: I’m in the toilet!
Howard: So, how’d it go?!
Ma: Too soon to say! I’m not done yet!
& Howard: So, what do you think? Do you like her? She’s great, huh?
Ma: She’s a lovely girl! Cute as a button!
Howard: That’s good to hear, ’cause I’ve got some news.
Ma: I hope it’s good news, because I’ve got nothing but disappointment in here!
& Howard: Bernadette and I are getting married. ........... Ma? ......... You too busy bearing down*? .......... Ma? .............! Oh, my God, Ma? Ma? Ma? Stand back, I’m gonna break the door down! ..............! Son of a bitch! Ma, help!
& Penny: Ever since Leonard’s been dating Raj’s sister, I’ve had to keep my distance. I don’t get to hear all your jibber-jabber.
Sheldon: Jibber-jabber?! I don’t jibber-jabber!
Penny: What are you doing at work these days?
Sheldon: Oh, I’m working on time-dependent backgrounds in string theory, specifically quantum field theory in
Penny: Okay, come on, even you have to admit that’s jibber-jabber.
Sheldon: Interesting, do you know where the phrase “jibber-jabber” comes from?
Penny: Oh, my God, you’re about to jibber-jabber about jibber-jabber.
& Leonard: Howard and his mother are at the hospital. We gotta go.
Penny: Sheldon, let’s go!
Sheldon: To a hospital?! Full of sick people?!?! Oh, I don’t think so.
Penny: Okay, well, your friend and his mother are there, we’re going.
Sheldon: I can’t.
Penny: Oh, don’t tell me you’re afraid of germs.
Sheldon: Not all germs. Just the ones that will kill me.
& Leonard: I’ll tell Howard you didn’t come because you’re more concerned about your own well-being than his.
Howard: I would think he would know that.
& Howard: So I knocked down the bathroom door, picked up my poor unconscious mother, carried her to the car, and drove like a madman to the emergency room.
Bernadette: You’re a real hero, Howard.
Howard: No, I did what any son would do.
Penny: Hang on a second... you picked up your mother? Her own legs are barely able to do that.
Howard: I was filled with adrenaline. It happens to be how women lift cars off babies.
Penny: Yeah, I’m saying, it’d be easier to lift a car.
Howard: What can I tell you? After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was unstoppable.
& Howard: It may have been a heart attack or heart-attack-like event.
Penny: What’s the difference?
Sheldon: A heart-attack-like event is an event that’s like a heart attack.
& Bernadette: You told her we were going to get married and she had a heart attack?
Howard: You can’t take that personally.
& Howard: What you’ve got to keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I’ve been the whole world to my mother. I mean, she’d be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can’t.
Bernadette: You mean sexual intercourse?
Howard: ... Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.
Priya: What happened?!
Bernadette: Howard’s mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can’t.
& Bernadette: How can we be together if the thought of us getting married might kill your mother?
Howard: It’s the circle of life, sweetie. One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you...
& Sheldon: Howard, I have to go to the bathroom and no one will take me home.
Howard: What’s wrong with the bathroom here?
Sheldon: Pneumococcus, streptococcus, staphylococcus and other assorted coccuses.
& Howard: Sheldon, my mother is on her deathbed and my fiancee is grief-stricken over putting her there. I’m not taking you home.
Sheldon: Will you at least go with me to the restroom here, so you can open the door and flush the urinal?
Howard: No!
Sheldon: This might be a good time to point out, Howard, that friendship requires a certain give and take.
& Howard: Can I see her?
Doctor: Actually, she said, and I quote, she’d “like to see the little Catholic girl first.”
Bernadette: Me? Why me?!
Howard: Jews have been asking that for centuries. There’s no real good answer.
& Bernadette: Okay, well, wish me luck.
Howard: Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Let’s just hide Mr. Cross. If it touches her, it burns.
& Sheldon: Oh, what fresh hell is this?
Bio-doctor: Wait, you can’t leave here, you’ve been exposed.
Sheldon: No, I haven’t. It’s all good.
& Penny: You want to talk about crazy mothers, Leonard’s mom wouldn’t give him any sort of approval growing up.
Priya: Oh, the poor thing.
Penny: It makes him desperate to please women. That’s why the foreplay goes on and on.
Priya: It does, doesn’t it?
Penny: It’s like he’s trying to win a prize. A word of advice... don’t doze off. You will never hear the end of it.
& Leonard: There are a couple of things I did with Penny that might be a little silly, but...
Raj: Like what?
Leonard: Every once in a while, before we’d go to bed, I’d put on a little show for her.
Raj: What do you mean “a show”?
Leonard: Well, you know, the way I took my clothes off.
Raj: Like, to music?
Leonard: I’d look pretty stupid if there was no music.
Raj: So you’d do a striptease?
Leonard: I wasn’t swinging around a pole!
& Leonard: There was one time I put body glitter on.
Raj: Well, I don’t think you have to worry about Penny telling my sister that.
Leonard: No, she wouldn’t.
Raj: Your big problem is me telling her.
& Howard: Hey, how’d it go?
Bernadette: You’re a putz. You know what that means?
Howard: Yeah. Do you?
& Bernadette: She thinks she got food poisoning from that deli and she just wanted to make sure I was okay.
Howard: And are you?
Bernadette: No, because I’m engaged to a putz.
& Bernadette: Shut up! She said I’m a wonderful girl and that you’re lucky to have me.
Howard: Where are you going?
Bernadette: To the toilet!! Is that okay with you?!!!
Howard: ... Is it just me, or does she sound sexy when she’s angry?
& Leonard: ... Rotting Zombie.
Raj: Sheldon’s new Facebook photo.
Sheldon: Zandor, Wizard of the North! Ha! I win.
Howard: If you skip the part about being under a two-week quarantine because you were exposed to a deadly disease... absolutely.
--- Dict:
prone — склонный
canker sore — язва
pinkeye — острый инфекционный конъюнктивит
defiled — осквернил
bearing down — тужиться; преодолевать; устремляться
On Imdb.
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