The Agreement Dissection*
Season 4, Episode 21
& Sheldon: Leonard, are you in the shower?
Leonard: I can’t hear you! I’m in the shower!
Sheldon: I asked if you were in the shower, but that’s moot* now!
Leonard: What?!
Sheldon: Moot! Rendered unimportant by recent events!
Leonard: I can’t hear you! I’m in the shower!
& Sheldon: Emergency.
Leonard: What kind of emergency?
Sheldon: Mathematical...
& Leonard: You might not want to do that.
Sheldon: I assure you I do.
Leonard: Sheldon, I’m not alone in here.
Sheldon: What?!!
Priya: Hello, Sheldon.
& Sheldon: According to the roommate agreement, paragraph nine, subsection B, “The right to bathroom privacy is suspended in the event of force majeure.” And believe me, I am experiencing a very majeure force.
Leonard: Come on, you can’t wait two minutes?
Priya: Oh, Leonard, let the man pee.
& Sheldon: Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, you are officially charged with two violations of the roommate agreement. Do you waive reading of the charges?
Leonard: Yeah, fine.
Priya: Hang on. No. My client does not waive reading of the charges.
Leonard: Oh. Cool. I’ve got a lawyer. And I’ve seen her naked.
& Priya: My point is, Sheldon, the legal principle is, ambiguity in a contract benefits the party that did not draft it, in this case, Leonard. So much for count one.
Sheldon: But...
Priya: There’s no buts, Sheldon; that’s how the law works.
Leonard: Schooled!
& Priya: As for the shower capacity issue, I cite addendum J. “When Sheldon showers second, any and all measures shall be taken to ensure an adequate supply of hot water.” I believe this supercedes the occupancy issue.
Leonard: Superceded!
Sheldon: ....... This isn’t over.
& Leonard: No offense, but shower sex with you is now the second best thing that’s happened today.
& Raj: Mmm, Greek food on pizza night? This is the most delightfully cruel thing we’ve done to Sheldon since we left that fake message from Stephen Hawking on his voice mail.
& Sheldon: What is that you’re eating? Tonight is pizza night!
Leonard: I’d like to refer that to my attorney...
& Sheldon: This is Greek food? Leonard, you hate Greek food.
Leonard: Not as much as you.
& Sheldon: ... If you think about it, Greek food isn’t that far from Italian food. They share a spice palette. ... And what a civilization is the Greeks’! They gave us science, democracy... and little cubes of charred* meat that taste like sweat.
& Penny: Hey. What’s up?
Sheldon: The mean Indian lady tried to make me eat lamb. Congratulations. Pizza night will now be at your apartment. Order one.
& Penny: Oh, I’m sorry, honey, I’m meeting Amy and Bernadette for dinner. But you’re welcome to tag along.
Sheldon: A girls’ night? Oh, I don’t know if I’m up for an evening talking about rainbows, unicorns and menstrual cramps.
Penny: Okay, suit yourself. We’ll probably be trashing Priya a little.
Sheldon: Shotgun!
& Penny: Okay, I’d like to propose a toast to a wonderful girls’ night out.
Amy: Fair warning... we can get ca-razy.
& Penny: I felt sorry for him. Priya’s giving him a hard time.
Bernadette: Ooh, the Priya bashing’s starting early. Yay!
& Bernadette: Okay, what’s up with those pantsuits?
Amy: I need some context.
Penny: Pantsuits suck.
Amy: And that opens her up to justifiable ridicule for wearing them. Good one, Bernadette. See? Ca-razy.
& Bernadette: Sheldon... have you ever kissed a girl?
& Bernadette: Aren’t you even a little curious?
Penny: Yeah, you’re a scientist... where is the curiosity?
Amy: And I’m available for experimentation...
Sheldon: Thank you. Not necessary. We know everything there is to know about kissing. It requires 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles.
Amy: Oh, blah, blah, blah. Give me some sugar, bestie.
Sheldon: I’m certainly glad no one said they were curious about Aztec human sacrifice...
& Penny: Take us someplace we can waltz.
Vietnamese taxi driver: Where you can what?
Sheldon: Waltz. It’s a social dance from Austria choreographed to a three-four time signature.
& Amy: ♪ I kissed a girl ♪
♪ and I liked it ♪
♪ I hope my boyfriend ♪
♪ don’t mind... ♪
Sheldon: What happened to you?
& Amy: How come if we’re the smart people, we don’t do this every night?
Sheldon: What’s 16 times 14?
Amy: My burps taste like cranberry juice.
Sheldon: And there’s your answer.
Amy: Would you like to come in for a nightcap?
Sheldon: If you’re referring to the beverage, you know I don’t drink. If you’re referring to the hat you don while wearing a nightshirt and holding a candle, I have one.
Amy: I have Yoo-hoo.
Sheldon: It’s hard to say no to Yoo-hoo. The name literally beckons.
& Sheldon: What’s he doing here?
Amy: I’m giving him emphysema. The least I can do is let him hang out and watch cable.
& Sheldon: Aren’t you worried about secondhand smoke?
Amy: A little. The real danger is him biting my face off while I’m sleeping.
& Amy: My point is, he would not meekly* surrender to the rules, and neither should you.
Sheldon: Are you suggesting I play dirty?
Amy: Yes, dirty. Dirty... dirty... dirty. Which brings me to our next order of business. ...
Sheldon: Fascinating.
Amy: I hope you don’t take what I’m about to do as a comment on what we just did.
& Priya: So what happens when it counts down?
Sheldon: Unless Leonard signs the new agreement in the next ... 41 seconds, this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India saying that you’re in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff Leonard Hofstadter.
& Priya: Give him what he wants or we’re done.
Sheldon: Three.
Leonard: Really?
Sheldon: Two.
Leonard: Okay, I’ll sign it!
— Self-destruct sequence aborted.
Sheldon: You may have gone to Cambridge, but I’m an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.
& Sheldon: Good morning, Amy.
Amy: It most assuredly is not.
Sheldon: Are you experiencing dehydration, headache, nausea and shame?
& Amy: What happened last night?
Sheldon: Ah, memory impairment; the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.
Amy: Sheldon?
Sheldon: All right. Last night you gave me some excellent advice regarding my problem here at home, you kissed me and then vomited on and off for 40 minutes, following which you passed out on your bathroom floor. I then folded a towel under your head as a pillow, set your oven clock to the correct time because it was driving me crazy... and I left.
& Amy: Don’t really know where we go from here.
Sheldon: I suggest we treat our relationship as if it were a crashed computer and restore it to the last point we both agree it worked.
Amy: Terrific. Thank you.
& Amy: Get off my back! Not easy living with a temperamental little primate.
Leonard: Come on, Priya, just admit I embarrass you!
Sheldon: You’re preaching to the choir, sister.
--- Dict:
Dissection — вскрытие; рассечение; разбор; препарирование
moot — спорный; ставить на обсуждение; дискутировать
charred — обгорелый; обгоревший
meekly — кротко; смиренно
On Imdb.
BTW, from 2day's Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card:
Thanks to the magic of computer graphics, the monkey in tonight's episode was not actually smoking a cigarette, nor was he ever exposed to secondhand smoke. At all times, every effort was made to make the monkey feel happy and safe. Nevertheless, he proved impossible to work with. During the week of production his behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse. It wasn't until after we finished filming his scenes that we learned why. The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back. Thankfully, an intervention was staged by the Geico lizard and he is now going through detox and a twelve step program at the Bonzo Center in Palm Springs. Everyone at The Big Bang Theory wishes him well.! Bazinga!
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий