The One with the Embryos

Friends 4×12

Rachel: What the hell is that? What the hell is that?! Is that you?!
Monica: Boy, you're really not a morning person.
Rachel: Just back off!

Rachel: Get up! Get up! Get up! What is that noise?
Joey: You.
Chandler: It's the chick. She's going through some changes.
Monica: What kind of changes?
Joey: Well, the vet seems to think that she's becoming a rooster.
Chandler: We're getting a second opinion.

Phoebe: You guys, you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldn't be in an apartment. Rachel: Yeah, especially not with all these knives and cookbooks around.

Phoebe: All right, I'm gonna go to the fertility doctor and, uh, see if I'm ready... to have Frank and Alice's embryo transferred into my uterus.
Joey: Now, how will they know if you're ready?
Phoebe: Oh, they're just gonna look and see if my endometrial layer is thick.
Chandler: Oh, I can check that for you.
Phoebe: Okay, everyone, think "thick."

Chandler: All right. Ten bucks. Fork it over. Cough it up. Pay the piper. Give me it.

Phoebe: You know what? Don't worry. I'm gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
Alice: Well, see, the thing is, we kind of only have one shot.
Frank Jr.: Um, it costs $16,000 each time you do this.
Alice: So, um, we're kind of using all the money we have to do it just this one time.
Phoebe: Whoa. That's... Okay, that's a lot of pressure on me and my uterus.

Monica: Three hundred?
Rachel: Monica!
Monica: I'm just trying to spice it up.
Rachel: Okay, so then play for some pepper. Stop spending my money.

Monica: How do you feel?
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Because it turns out the odds are, like, really sucky. And this is Frank and Alice's, like, only shot. I mean, they are, like, literally putting all their eggs in my basket.

Phoebe: Nope, not knocked up yet.
Monica: It's only been a couple hours, so just give it some time.
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, I'm gonna do whatever I can to help this... so I'm just gonna, you know, lie in your chair, okay? You know, just... I'm gonna let gravity, you know, do its jobs.

Phoebe: Guys, you guys, you're gonna have a baby. They're gonna have a baby.
Frank Jr.: My sister's going to have my baby!

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