Chapter 7: A String Is Attached

The Kominsky Method 1×7

Norman Newlander: Sandy, there are certain things we have to do in life that are distasteful but absolutely necessary. I can think of several. Can you?
Sandy Kominsky: And I'm feeling bad.
Norman Newlander: There's colonoscopies, engagement parties, flossing.... Taxes, Sandy! Taxes are one of those distasteful things that we must do.
Sandy Kominsky: We really had to go through colonoscopies to get here?

Norman Newlander: $300,000!
Sandy Kominsky: Thereabouts.
Norman Newlander: "Thereabouts." A little tip. When begging, it's good to have an exact number.

Sandy Kominsky: You'll get it all back. We'll set up a payment plan, say, a thousand dollars a month.
Norman Newlander: Math isn't really your strong suit, is it?
Sandy Kominsky: Why?
Norman Newlander: Why? That's 25 years. You know how old I'll be when you finish paying me off? Dead!
Sandy Kominsky: Okay. How about if I push it up to eleven hundred a month?
Norman Newlander: Still dead.

Eileen Newlander: Norman, you have the money. Just give it to him.
Norman Newlander: Excuse me, but whatever happened to "never a borrower or a lender be"?
Eileen Newlander: You wanna take advice from Shakespeare? He also said, "Kill all the lawyers."
Norman Newlander: I agree with that, too.

Norman Newlander: No, no, I... I want him to go nuts. That'll be the fun part.
Eileen Newlander: Why can't it just be a noble gesture?

Norman Newlander: That's in there, too. It's genius, really. No strings is the biggest string of all.

Norman Newlander: Why don't you just take my money and be grateful?
Sandy Kominsky: I can't. Giving me the money with no strings is like the biggest string of all.
Norman Newlander: Well, that's a very cynical attitude.

Sandy Kominsky: I know you're not really thrilled with me, uh, right now... but compared to everybody else in my life, "not thrilled" makes you president of the Sandy Kominsky fan club.

Sandy Kominsky: I hope you come visit me in jail.
Lisa: Why are you going to jail?
Sandy Kominsky: My accountant died...

Sandy Kominsky: I'm a little foggy. Um... Did I win you back?
Lisa: No.
Sandy Kominsky: Okay. I'm gonna keep trying. Let me know when it stops being cute and turns into stalking.

Sandy Kominsky: I had a Tony Award when I signed with you. I was hot!
Norman Newlander: Yeah, you were hot, and then you came to Hollywood and you pissed off every Jew that counted. You burned bridges. You burned roads. You burned tunnels. If there was a path to success, you set it on fire.
Sandy Kominsky: Well, forgive me for having standards, for having integrity.
Norman Newlander: Standards and integrity are for Oscar winners. Everybody else has gotta bend over.

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