A Philosophy Class and Worms That Can Chase You

Young Sheldon 4×7

George: Stop praying for him and focus on the other two.

Mary: Enough! Can we please have a nice dinner?
Missy: We could. But you're the one who wants to eat as a family.
George: Don't pray for any of 'em.

Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon. How wonderfully early it is to see you.

Sheldon: I should get going. My philosophy class starts in a few minutes.
Dr. Linkletter: Ah, yes, the great thinkers. Socrates, Plato... Speaking of which, I got you some Play-Doh.

Sheldon: ....now that I was a full-time college student, my collection was about to grow exponentially.
Welcome to the world of philosophy. Most college courses are about teaching you things that you don't know. Here, I am going to teach you that you don't even know what you think you know.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.

Professor Ericson: The Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu believed it was possible he didn't really know anything because he might just be a butterfly dreaming that he was a philosopher-- Yes.
Sheldon: He wasn't a butterfly.
Professor Ericson: Well, how do you know?
Sheldon: The butterfly brain doesn't contain enough neurons to generate a complex dream. Plus, you referred to him as Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu, and not Chinese butterfly Chuang Tzu.
Professor Ericson: You must be Sheldon Cooper.

Professor Ericson: Very well, Mr. Cooper, how do you know you're not just dreaming butterflies can't dream?
Sheldon: Because I'm awake.
Professor Ericson: Or are you dreaming you're awake?
Sheldon: You can see I'm awake and you can hear me talking.
Professor Ericson: Yeah... I don't know. I saw some pretty trippy stuff at a Grateful Dead concert. The drummer turned into a tap-dancing walrus and floated away. So we can't really trust our senses, can we?
Sheldon: We can validate them by comparing them with other observers.
Professor Ericson: Mm, but that would mean we have to hear what they say, which requires... trusting our senses. Do you see a problem with your argument, Mr. Cooper?...
Sheldon: I could concentrate better if you weren't flashing your toes at me!

Brenda: ... Absolutely not!
Mary: Why?
Brenda: That girl is cute and sassy, and has a real chance at being popular. Do not take that from her. Or me.
Mary: Popularity isn't that important.
Brenda: It is the most important! Look at us. I'm miserable. You're always worried about something. I'd like one girl around here to win.

Sheldon: She claimed that knowledge was a myth, and then she told the class they could take their shoes off. Some of them did!
Dr. Linkletter: Luckily we've established you're a mature young man capable of figuring this out on his own, so, go get 'em, sport.
Sheldon: But as a man of science, aren't you offended by this?
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, this is a college campus. You come across all sorts. Anarchists, communists, vegans. There's a fella in the religion department that believes God is two women, and their names are Wendy and Claire.

Sheldon: I would like to drop your class.
Professor Ericson: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I enjoyed our discussion about skepticism. And butterflies.
Sheldon: I'm a scientist, and I don't find those types of questions worth my time. And butterflies are just worms that can chase you.

Professor Ericson: The questions of philosophy are extremely challenging. People have spent 2,000-plus years trying to solve them without success. So if you feel like giving up, I don't blame you...
Sheldon: I'm not giving up. I'm saying they're not important.
Professor Ericson: Okay, so what is important?
Sheldon: The acquisition of factual knowledge.
Professor Ericson: And how do you know if something is factual?
Sheldon: You test it and see if it holds true.
Professor Ericson: And how do you know that that's factual?
Sheldon: You're doing it again!
Professor Ericson: Maybe you're dreaming I'm doing it.

Meemaw: How was your first day?
Sheldon: Infuriating!
Mary: How was your first day?
Missy: So good.
George: How was your first day?
Georgie: ........

Meemaw: Are you gonna drop the class?
Sheldon: Yes, but only after I systematically destroy her half-baked arguments in front of everybody else.
Meemaw: It's good to have goals...

Brenda: I just wanted to see how today went.
Mary: Oh. Not great. Sheldon is already in some sort of fight with his philosophy professor.
Brenda: About what?
Mary: Currently, he's plotting "the destruction of her worldview," whatever that means.
Brenda: Sounds exciting.
Mary: It's mostly him reading a book and giggling to himself.

Adult Sheldon: It was past my bedtime, but who could sleep with a page-turner like Meditations on First Philosophy by René Descartes? Descartes was more than just a philosopher. He was also the mathematician who invented the Cartesian plane. If you've ever enjoyed that X squared plus Y squared equals K is a circle, you can say merci beaucoup to Monsieur Descartes...

Sheldon: Excuse me, Professor Ericson! I've done a little reading since last we spoke, and I'm prepared to show you that everything we know about science is true.
Professor Ericson: Well, I am all ears.
Sheldon: You said I couldn't truly know anything, but there is one thing that I do know. If I question, I must think; if I think, I must exist. Cogito, ergo sum: I think, therefore I am.
Professor Ericson: You're right.
Sheldon: You're darn right I'm right.
Professor Ericson: Guys, g-give it up for Sheldon. Now for a job well done... here is a flower full of sweet nectar.
Sheldon: Why would I want that?
Professor Ericson: Because you're a butterfly and this is just your dream.
Sheldon: I'm not a butterfly.
Professor Ericson: Are you sure?...

Sheldon: Missy, am I awake or is this a dream?
Missy: Shut up, dingus.
Sheldon: Okay, I'm awake.

Sheldon: I'm not going to school.
Mary: Why not?
Sheldon: Because I don't know what's real.
Mary: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Dreaming and waking, life and death, philosophers and butterflies, they're all the same. Nothing matters.
Mary: That's... an interesting way of looking at things... George?!!

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