Chapter 3: A Prostate Enlarges

The Kominsky Method 1×3

Rabbi: Norman, forgive me for saying this, but when you sit shivah for a loved one, all the mirrors in the house are supposed to be covered.
Norman Newlander: I know. I'm just not that kind of Jew.
Rabbi: Really? And what kind of Jew are you?
Norman Newlander: I'm... I'm the atheist kind.
Rabbi: Condolences. Norman Newlander: Enjoy the shrimp.
Norman Newlander: We're supposed to love our children unconditionally... Such nonsense!

Norman Newlander: Dianne, please. For 46 years, I've lived in one village. It was a wonderful village. It was warm. Nice huts. And I'm sorry, but from here on, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna be village-less. I'm a nomad.

Sandy Kominsky: You wouldn't happen to have a, uh... urologist that you like?
Norman Newlander: Like? No one likes their urologist, but I do have a good one.

Norman Newlander: Ah. Yeah, that's... that's a slow, dripping cry for help.

Dr. Wexler: You know, the funny thing is, even gay guys don't like this.

Sandy Kominsky: Now what?
Dr. Wexler: Now we check your PSA test, see if you've got any cancer.
Sandy Kominsky: And how long does that take?
Dr. Wexler: Ah, a couple of days.
Sandy Kominsky: And if there is?
Dr. Wexler: We do a biopsy and see if it's snail, turtle, or rabbit.
Sandy Kominsky: What?
Dr. Wexler: Well, snail, slow-moving, no worries. Turtle, little faster, some worries. Rabbit...
Sandy Kominsky: Floppy-eared and adorable?
Dr. Wexler: Sure.

Sandy Kominsky: Listen to me, all right? None of this matters. None of this is worth getting offended over. This is all bullshit. Doesn't matter whether you're black, or gay, or...
Jude: Irish, French, and German.
Sandy Kominsky: Sure.
Jude: I did 23andMe.
Sandy Kominsky: That's great. Doesn't matter because inside we're all exactly the same. The life in you, in you, and you, and you is the same life. Same electricity, just lighting up a different bulb. If you really want to get offended, try cancerous glands in your asshole.

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