The Hostile Hospital: Part One

A Series of Unfortunate Events 2×7

Lemony Snicket: My name is Lemony Snicket and I am on the lam, a phrase which here means "conveying this information to you while being relentlessly pursued by the law."

Lemony Snicket: ...their fire truck ran out of gas deep in the Hinterlands, a term which here means "a desolate place unlikely to bring their troubles to an end."

Lemony Snicket: But your own troubles could be over this instant if you are sensible enough to halt this dire programming by pressing any nearby button marked "stop."

Klaus: So VFD stands for Volunteers Fighting Disease?

Violet: What exactly will we be doing?
Bearded Man: Mostly, we wander the halls, singing songs and handing out heart-shaped balloons to each person on our list...
Violet: How exactly does that help fight diseases? ....
Sis: Well, because... Because when you're laughing, you're... When you're laughing, you're taking in oxygen or whatever, and that oxygen goes, um... A cheerful attitude is the most effective tool against sickness.
Klaus: I thought antibiotics were.
Bearded Man: .... Come on, everybody!

Count Olaf: I think it's time for a game of "doctors and nurses."

Babs: Paperwork makes the world go round.
Count Olaf: I thought money did that.
Babs: Oh! You.

Esmé Squalor: What are we going to do?
Count Olaf: Plan number B.

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Hal: I trust you completely. I'm going to file you under "M..." for "my friends."

Count Olaf: Tonight's production of Let's Scare Babs to Death is about to begin...

Babs: Get a hold of yourself. You're head of human resources and hospital administration, for goodness' sake! And also party planning.

Count Olaf: Please, Babs. Dr. Medical School was my mother. Call me Mattathias.

Count Olaf: I hate boring television.

Lemony Snicket: Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "assisting Sisyphus's cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.

Hal: Good night, children. I shall file you under "P," for "people I trust most in this world."

Klaus: I feel terrible about this.
Violet: One day, we'll apologize and explain.
Klaus: Yeah. But until then?

Esmé Squalor: I'm wild about movies. Now, who wants popcorn?

Esmé Squalor: I'm filing you under "S" for "smashed flat!"

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On the IMDb