Nathaniel is Irrelevant.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 3×13

Rebecca: I'm Rebecca. I donated the egg, so that thing has my DNA in it, so good luck with that.

Dr. Pratt: And the rest of you are just gonna stay?
Paula: Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. I mean, one way or another, we've all seen one, so...

Paula: Oh, honey, no. No, no, no, no. You don't want to miss birth. It's an awe-inspiring and powerful experience.
Heather: Yeah, but, like, does it hurt?
Dr. Pratt: Well, women report different levels of discomfort depending...
Paula: Ah, Ba-Ba-Ba, Dr. No Vagina. Yes, it hurts, but it is so worth it.

Paula: Okay, listen up. Mama is gonna tell you how wonderful birth really is...
♪ And explosive diarrhea ♪
♪ Means that labor's drawing nearer ♪
♪ And those sharp, painful contractions ♪
♪ 'Cause your cervix to enlarge ♪
Paula: Beautiful.
♪ When it's all over ♪
♪ They'll place the baby on your breast ♪
♪ You may be happy for a moment ♪
♪ But then for months you'll be depressed ♪
♪ 'Cause you've wrecked your life and body ♪
♪ You'll think, "Was it really worth ♪
♪ "All that for the miracle ♪
♪ Of birth?..." ♪
Paula: But of course it was!

Paula: So, who called this meeting again?
Nathaniel: I don't know. The subject line says "The Purge," so are we throwing up or watching a horror movie or what?

Rebecca: I will tell you. I'll tell you everything.

Rebecca: I have some things to say, and... it's gonna be brutal.

---

Darryl: Maybe this is a real one.
Heather: No, I don't think so. I mean, I did see a bloody clump of mucus fall into the toilet bowl earlier, but...
Darryl: Wow. The miracle of birth.

Rebecca: God, I thought you were in Iowa.
Trent: Io-was. But I missed you, and now I'm-a-back.

Darryl: I named her Hebecca... It's a combination of Heather and Rebecca.
White Josh: Oh. Mm-hmm. Yeah? Okay.

Rebecca: I'm going to prison. For a long time.

Rebecca: Plead insanity?

Nathaniel: ♪ Because nothing is ever anyone's fault ♪
♪ We're all just products of childhood trauma ♪
♪ Nothing is ever anyone's fault ♪
♪ Pain causes anger and fear causes drama ♪
♪ We can't control the things we do..... ♪

Rebecca: Wow, the first part was kind of amoral, but that last thing was really sweet.

Nathaniel: ♪ I was raised to believe ♪
♪ That every person's in charge of their fate ♪
♪ But now I clearly see ♪
♪ That my father's a dick, and he filled me with hate ♪

♪ Psychology is a great excuse ♪
♪ Nothing is ever anyone's fault ♪
♪ .................................. ♪
♪ It's hard to paint people with evil or glory ♪
♪ When you know that everyone's got a tragic backstory ♪
♪ Free will's an illusion, morality is, too ♪
♪ So it's not my fault ♪
♪ That my parents messed me up ♪
♪ 'Cause their parents messed them up ♪
♪ And Adam and Eve were messed up by God ♪
♪ Who was messed up originally by the Big Bang ♪
♪ Everything is the Big Bang's fault ♪

Rebecca: I may have borderline, but I'm not insane. I'm responsible for everything that happened, all of it. ..... They were my choices. It's my life, and I'm responsible no matter what illness I have or what my parents were like. And let's be clear, they suck.

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