A Fractured Inheritance

The Good Place 3×6

Eleanor: Why didn't you tell me sooner, man?
Michael: I had already told you that you died and that I had tortured you for centuries and that you're doomed to be tortured again. I just didn't want to be, like, a bummer.

Eleanor: Diana Tremaine is my fake ID name! I... How dare she steal the identity I stole?!

Donna Shellstrop: No, baby, this is as real as the nails under my acrylic nails.

Donna Shellstrop: Eleanor is my sorority sister.
Eleanor: Right. Good old Kappa Zeta... Jones.

Jason: Those aren't dumb shapes. They're a pair of boobs. And then two extra side boobs. It symbolizes that boobs come in all shapes and sizes and distances apart.

Tahani: There are plenty of other people I could help, like my good friend Ben Affleck and his crippling addiction to back tattoos, or my other good friend Matt Damon and his crippling addiction to my friend Ben Affleck.

Eleanor: 7 shots of Seagram's 7 in 7 minutes. It's Diana's morning drink.

Dave: So how did you and Eleanor become friends?
Michael: Let's just say that we "lived" in the same "neighborhood."
Dave: What a fun way to say a normal thing, right?

Eleanor: Man, Dave's margaritas are amazing.
Michael: Right? And I'm not even a tequila guy.

Eleanor: Is there more cash in your bra?
Donna Shellstrop: Always. It's why I don't wash them.

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