Fifty-One Percent

Silicon Valley 5×8

Richard: Photo time. Let's go. Front-enders, come on in. Where's my back-enders? I see you, crypto-geeks. Follow me!

Richard: Old Pipey thing...

Monica: Sorry, I don't mean to rain on the parade.
Gilfoyle: I find parades to be impotent displays of authoritarianism.

Colin: Can I be real with you? I really need this.
Richard: Can I be realer? Kiss my piss.

Richard: Karma's a bitch, Colin.

Monica: You're smoking my cigarettes, asshole.
Jared: In a public workspace, in the state of California, no less.
Gilfoyle: Shall we?

Jared: Burning Man's in two weeks, so people are beta testing their new gear.
Dinesh: Why would people who aren't refugees choose to come here and live like refugees? You know that's not, like, a desirable thing, right? Living like a refugee? Ugh! This place is offensive to homeless people.

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Richard: I happen to know that a man named Yao fucked you over. How would you like to fuck him back?

Gilfoyle: Dick, where are you?

Dinesh: All right, well, it's a pretty straight road from here, so... Hold on to your kidneys, motherfuckers! We are going Ludicrous!...

Dinesh: Valet mode. You put me in fucking valet mode... Come on, that caps me at 70 miles per hour, limits performance to 80 kilowatts.

Jared: I heard on a podcast that patrol men are actually a lot more tempted by bribes than you might think...

Richard: Let's make it official. I will, uh... I will sign... my company over to you... It's yours, Gavin. You win. Okay?

Richard: Kiss my piss.

Richard: Gilfoyle... when you're ready.
Gilfoyle: Bombs away.

Gilfoyle: It's a little bright. But I could find a dark corner to settle into.

Jared: That's gonna require hundreds of new engineers, Richard.
Monica: And the staff to support them. Legal, accounting, HR, government affairs.
Richard: Whoa. Why would we need that?
Monica: To deal with things like the NSA. They called yesterday. They have a lot of questions about our tech. And about inserting a back door... We can push back.
Richard: Against the government?
Dinesh: I don't love that.
Gilfoyle: I do.

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