The Ol' Mexican Spinach

Two and a Half Men 12×1

& Walden: What decays in Vegas stays in Vegas.

& Alan: God, you know what I love about Halloween? You can put «slutty» in front of any job position, and it becomes a costume. Slutty nurse, slutty librarian, slutty lunch lady...

& Alan: At least I took a chance with my costume. I mean, Elvis and zombies... It’s real original. Next year, it’s vampire Obama. «Yes, we can!»

& Walden: I haven’t exactly been successful in love. It’s like I’m running JavaScript and women are running HTML5... Talking like that is part of the problem, isn’t it?

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& Walden: Do you know how long it takes to get a baby?
    Alan: Well, I know it takes, uh, five months of mood swings and four months of not wanting to be touched.

& Walden: You just said that I’m more than qualified.
    Allison: And you are. But you’re a single guy, and the system is really geared towards married couples.
    Walden: That’s racist.
    Allison: Uh, no, it’s not.
    Walden: Then it’s sexist.
    Allison: Nope.
    Walden: Well, it’s some kind of «sist.»

& Walden: You are... always there for me.
    Alan: Yeah, and-and you’re always there for me.
    Walden: We’re best friends. What if we were more than friends?
    Alan: Like... super friends?
    Walden: Alan Harper, will you marry me?

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On the IMDb