Applesauce

& Ron: There’s something about it that reeks of desperation. Constantly, «I love you, I love you...» I’m just saying there’s something about it that’s slightly pathetically sad. And desperate.

& Ron: Hey, look at it this way. If it wasn’t for sexist people, feminism wouldn’t have a cause.

& Ron: I love you.
    Nicki: I know.
    Ron: No, I mean, I really, really love you. You’re the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life. If I believed in god, I would thank him or her, everyday, that he made you just stupid enough to marry me.
    Nicki: Thanks.
    Ron: Thank you for making her so stupid. I don’t know what I would do without you.

& Les: I was just trying to scare you, you imbecile!
    Ron: Well, I don’t scare so easily, Les. I once watched «The Exorcist.» By myself. In the dark. All the way through.

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& Ron: Officer. This is a Brooklyn laundromat. Everyone in here looks like they’re on parole.

& Ron: Who cares? Another failed marriage or two. It’s not even going to make a dent in the divorce rate. Think about what’s happening in Iraq. They’ve got problems. This is nothing.

& Nicki: She’s in a better place.
    Les: You really think being in a wooden box, 6 feet under, is a better place?
    Nicki: Maybe, if you’re agoraphobic.

& Ron: It’s good to have closure.
    Wally: There’s no such thing as closure, Ron.

& Stevie Bricks: Anyway, it is Tuesday night and you know what that means. I want to hear the worst thing you’ve ever done. If you’re brave enough to share your story, please, give me a call...

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