& Steve Jobs: Two days ago, we ran a Super Bowl ad that could’ve won the Oscar for Best Short Film. There are more people who can tell you about the ad than can tell you who won the game.
Joanna Hoffman: I understand, but the ad said the Mac was gonna save the world. It didn’t say it was gonna say hello.
& Joanna: Why can’t he get into the machine?
Andy Hertzfeld: You need special tools.
Joanna: What kind of special tools? Just take a screwdriver.
Andy: He didn’t want users to be able to open it. You need special tools.
Joanna: Is this for real?
& Joanna: We’re not gonna sell a million in the first 90 days.
Steve Jobs: Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone is waiting for the Mac!
Joanna: Maybe. But what happens when they find out that for 2,495, there’s nothing you can do with it? We were competitive at $1,500, but once you replaced the Motorola 6809 with the 68000...
Steve Jobs: Which is what supports menus, windows, point and click, high-res graphics...
Joanna: Yeah, ’cause everyone needs rectangles with rounded corners.
Steve Jobs: Coach lands on the runway at the exact same time as first class.
Joanna: I don’t have the first fucking idea what that means, but this is how it got to $2,500... which is the price point on the PC, which can do a lot more!
Steve Jobs: Who’s gonna want a PC? What idiot is gonna want... If I wanna tell you there’s a spot on your shirt, I point to the spot. I don’t say there’s a spot 14 centimeters down from the collar and three centimeters to the right of the second button while I try to remember what the command is for club soda. That’s not how a person’s mind works.
Joanna: If the goal was ease of use, maybe you should’ve given it some memory.
Steve Jobs: You can complain about memory or you can complain about price, but you can’t do both at the same time. Memory is what costs money. I’m glad you’re telling me your feelings about the Mac now because we have a half hour left. We can redesign it.
& Steve Jobs: Look at their faces when they see what it is. They won’t know what they’re looking at or why they like it, but they’ll know they want it.
& Lisa: My dad named a computer after me.
Steve Jobs: I’m not your... Actually, do you know what a coincidence is, Lisa?
Lisa: No.
Steve Jobs: Like if you met someone. You made a new friend and her name was Lisa too. That would be a coincidence. «Lisa» stands for «Local Integrated Systems Architecture.» L-I-S-A. It’s a coincidence.
& Andy: Well, we’re not a pit crew at Daytona. This can’t be fixed in seconds.
Steve Jobs: You didn’t have seconds. You had three weeks. The universe was created in a third of that time.
Andy: Well, someday you’ll have to tell us how you did it.
& Steve Jobs: Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna announce the names of everyone who designed the launch demo. I’m gonna introduce everyone and ask them to stand up. The bag was designed by Susan Kare. The Macintosh font that’s scrolling across the screen was designed by Steve Capps. The starry night and skywriting was Bruce Horn. MacPaint, MacWrite, Alice, down to the calculator. And then I’m gonna say the voice demo that didn’t work was designed by Andy Hertzfeld.
Andy: Steve...
Steve Jobs: Five-in-six is your chance of surviving the first round of Russian roulette, and you’ve reversed those odds. So unless you wanna be disgraced in front of your friends, family, colleagues, stockholders and the press, I wouldn’t stand here arguing. I’d go try and get some more bullets out of the gun.
& Steve Jobs: We’re about to do this thing. At 9:41, the planet’s gonna shift on its axis nigh and forever.
& Steve Jobs: Two most significant events of the 20th century: the Allies win the war and this. This. So maybe right now isn’t the very best time to scold me for not being a better father to a kid who’s not my kid.
& Steve Wozniak: Computers aren’t paintings.
Steve Jobs: Fuck you. I’m gonna say «fuck you» every time you say that until you either die or stop.
& Steve Jobs: It’s having no control. You find out you were out of the loop when the most crucial events in your life were set in motion. As long as you have control. I don’t understand people who give it up.
& Steve Jobs: I once met Seiji Ozawa at Tanglewood. A thunderous conductor. Ungodly artfulness and nuance. And I asked him what exactly a conductor does that a metronome can’t. Surprisingly, he...
Wozniak: He didn’t beat the living shit out of you?
Steve Jobs: That’s right. No, he said, «The musicians play their instruments. I play the orchestra.»
Wozniak: That feels like something that sounds good, but doesn’t mean anything. ...
& Wozniak: What did you do? What did you do? Why has Lisa not heard of me?
Steve Jobs: Shit, man, how many fourth-graders have heard of you?
Wozniak: You can’t write code. You’re not an engineer. You’re not a designer. You can’t put a hammer to a nail. I built the circuit board. The graphical interface was stolen from Xerox PARC. Jef Raskin was the leader of the Mac team before you threw him off his own project. Everything... Someone else designed the box. So how come 10 times in a day, I read «Steve Jobs is a genius»? What do you do?
Steve Jobs: I play the orchestra.
& Joanna: Tell me what the plan is. You have to tell me the plan, because I don’t know. You’re walking around like you’ve got «Can’t Lose» cards.
Steve Jobs: The plan will reveal itself to you when you’re ready to see it.
Joanna: Will I have to drop acid?
Steve Jobs: Couldn’t hurt.
Joanna: Is there a plan?
Steve Jobs: Have I ever let you down?
Joanna: Every single goddamn time.
Steve Jobs: Then I’m due.
Joanna: Is there?
Steve Jobs: Joanna, there’s a plan. I just don’t wanna put you in a position where you’re lying to people.
& John Sculley: There is no market research telling us the Mac is failing because it’s overpriced. It’s telling us that people don’t like it because they think it doesn’t do anything. It’s closed, end-to-end. We didn’t know it wasn’t what people wanted, but it isn’t. They want slots, they want choices, they want options. The way we buy stereos... mix and match components.
Steve Jobs: John, listen to me. Whoever said the customer is always right was, I promise you, a customer.
& John Sculley: It had skinheads in it. She was liberating them. Liberating the skinheads.
Steve Jobs: The ad didn’t have anything to do with fucking skinheads. We used them as fucking extras. Nobody even knows they were skinheads.
& John Sculley: It was a suicide. Because you knew your cards and I showed you mine. I showed you mine, and you did it anyway. What did you think I was gonna do? I’m okay losing, but I’m not gonna forfeit.
Steve Jobs: I’m not okay losing.
& Joel Pforzheimer: Who’s this one?
Steve Jobs: Alan Turing. Single-handedly won World War II and, for an encore, invented the computer. He won’t be part of the campaign though.
Joel Pforzheimer: Why not?
Steve Jobs: ’Cause you just had to ask me who he was.
& Joel Pforzheimer: He killed himself by taking a bite of a poison apple... Alan Turing.
Steve Jobs: Yeah. There should be statues of that man. His name should be on the lips of schoolchildren.
Joel Pforzheimer: The rainbow flag apple with a bite taken out... That’s where it came from?
Steve Jobs: No, we picked it off a list of friendly-sounding words. But wouldn’t it be great if that had been the story behind it?
& Wozniak: You know, when people used to ask me what the difference was between me and Steve Jobs, I would say Steve was the big-picture guy and I liked a solid workbench. When people ask me what the difference is now, I say «Steve’s an asshole.»... Your products are better than you are, brother.
Steve Jobs: That’s the idea, brother. And knowing that, that’s the difference.
Wozniak: It’s not binary. You can be decent and gifted at the same time.
& Steve Jobs: It was the stylus, John. I killed the Newton because of the stylus. If you’re holding a stylus, you can’t use the other five that are attached to your wrist... Things we could have done together.
John Sculley: God, the things we could’ve done...
& Steve Jobs: Of course it was named after you. Local Integrated System Architecture doesn't even mean anything.
Lisa: Why'd you say it wasn't all those years?
Steve Jobs: I honestly don't know.
Lisa: Why'd you say you weren't my father?
Steve Jobs: ... I'm poorly made.
& Steve Jobs: I’m gonna put music in your pocket.
Lisa: What?
Steve Jobs: Hundred songs. A thousand songs. 500 songs. Somewhere between 500 and a thousand songs right in your pocket, ’cause I can’t stand looking at that inexplicable Walkman anymore. You’re carrying around a brick playing cassette tape. We’re not savages.
& Joanna Hoffman: Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Jobs.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Joanna Hoffman: I understand, but the ad said the Mac was gonna save the world. It didn’t say it was gonna say hello.
& Joanna: Why can’t he get into the machine?
Andy Hertzfeld: You need special tools.
Joanna: What kind of special tools? Just take a screwdriver.
Andy: He didn’t want users to be able to open it. You need special tools.
Joanna: Is this for real?
& Joanna: We’re not gonna sell a million in the first 90 days.
Steve Jobs: Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone is waiting for the Mac!
Joanna: Maybe. But what happens when they find out that for 2,495, there’s nothing you can do with it? We were competitive at $1,500, but once you replaced the Motorola 6809 with the 68000...
Steve Jobs: Which is what supports menus, windows, point and click, high-res graphics...
Joanna: Yeah, ’cause everyone needs rectangles with rounded corners.
Steve Jobs: Coach lands on the runway at the exact same time as first class.
Joanna: I don’t have the first fucking idea what that means, but this is how it got to $2,500... which is the price point on the PC, which can do a lot more!
Steve Jobs: Who’s gonna want a PC? What idiot is gonna want... If I wanna tell you there’s a spot on your shirt, I point to the spot. I don’t say there’s a spot 14 centimeters down from the collar and three centimeters to the right of the second button while I try to remember what the command is for club soda. That’s not how a person’s mind works.
Joanna: If the goal was ease of use, maybe you should’ve given it some memory.
Steve Jobs: You can complain about memory or you can complain about price, but you can’t do both at the same time. Memory is what costs money. I’m glad you’re telling me your feelings about the Mac now because we have a half hour left. We can redesign it.
& Steve Jobs: Look at their faces when they see what it is. They won’t know what they’re looking at or why they like it, but they’ll know they want it.
& Lisa: My dad named a computer after me.
Steve Jobs: I’m not your... Actually, do you know what a coincidence is, Lisa?
Lisa: No.
Steve Jobs: Like if you met someone. You made a new friend and her name was Lisa too. That would be a coincidence. «Lisa» stands for «Local Integrated Systems Architecture.» L-I-S-A. It’s a coincidence.
& Andy: Well, we’re not a pit crew at Daytona. This can’t be fixed in seconds.
Steve Jobs: You didn’t have seconds. You had three weeks. The universe was created in a third of that time.
Andy: Well, someday you’ll have to tell us how you did it.
& Steve Jobs: Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna announce the names of everyone who designed the launch demo. I’m gonna introduce everyone and ask them to stand up. The bag was designed by Susan Kare. The Macintosh font that’s scrolling across the screen was designed by Steve Capps. The starry night and skywriting was Bruce Horn. MacPaint, MacWrite, Alice, down to the calculator. And then I’m gonna say the voice demo that didn’t work was designed by Andy Hertzfeld.
Andy: Steve...
Steve Jobs: Five-in-six is your chance of surviving the first round of Russian roulette, and you’ve reversed those odds. So unless you wanna be disgraced in front of your friends, family, colleagues, stockholders and the press, I wouldn’t stand here arguing. I’d go try and get some more bullets out of the gun.
& Steve Jobs: We’re about to do this thing. At 9:41, the planet’s gonna shift on its axis nigh and forever.
& Steve Jobs: Two most significant events of the 20th century: the Allies win the war and this. This. So maybe right now isn’t the very best time to scold me for not being a better father to a kid who’s not my kid.
& Steve Wozniak: Computers aren’t paintings.
Steve Jobs: Fuck you. I’m gonna say «fuck you» every time you say that until you either die or stop.
& Steve Jobs: It’s having no control. You find out you were out of the loop when the most crucial events in your life were set in motion. As long as you have control. I don’t understand people who give it up.
& Steve Jobs: I once met Seiji Ozawa at Tanglewood. A thunderous conductor. Ungodly artfulness and nuance. And I asked him what exactly a conductor does that a metronome can’t. Surprisingly, he...
Wozniak: He didn’t beat the living shit out of you?
Steve Jobs: That’s right. No, he said, «The musicians play their instruments. I play the orchestra.»
Wozniak: That feels like something that sounds good, but doesn’t mean anything. ...
& Wozniak: What did you do? What did you do? Why has Lisa not heard of me?
Steve Jobs: Shit, man, how many fourth-graders have heard of you?
Wozniak: You can’t write code. You’re not an engineer. You’re not a designer. You can’t put a hammer to a nail. I built the circuit board. The graphical interface was stolen from Xerox PARC. Jef Raskin was the leader of the Mac team before you threw him off his own project. Everything... Someone else designed the box. So how come 10 times in a day, I read «Steve Jobs is a genius»? What do you do?
Steve Jobs: I play the orchestra.
& Joanna: Tell me what the plan is. You have to tell me the plan, because I don’t know. You’re walking around like you’ve got «Can’t Lose» cards.
Steve Jobs: The plan will reveal itself to you when you’re ready to see it.
Joanna: Will I have to drop acid?
Steve Jobs: Couldn’t hurt.
Joanna: Is there a plan?
Steve Jobs: Have I ever let you down?
Joanna: Every single goddamn time.
Steve Jobs: Then I’m due.
Joanna: Is there?
Steve Jobs: Joanna, there’s a plan. I just don’t wanna put you in a position where you’re lying to people.
& John Sculley: There is no market research telling us the Mac is failing because it’s overpriced. It’s telling us that people don’t like it because they think it doesn’t do anything. It’s closed, end-to-end. We didn’t know it wasn’t what people wanted, but it isn’t. They want slots, they want choices, they want options. The way we buy stereos... mix and match components.
Steve Jobs: John, listen to me. Whoever said the customer is always right was, I promise you, a customer.
& John Sculley: It had skinheads in it. She was liberating them. Liberating the skinheads.
Steve Jobs: The ad didn’t have anything to do with fucking skinheads. We used them as fucking extras. Nobody even knows they were skinheads.
& John Sculley: It was a suicide. Because you knew your cards and I showed you mine. I showed you mine, and you did it anyway. What did you think I was gonna do? I’m okay losing, but I’m not gonna forfeit.
Steve Jobs: I’m not okay losing.
& Joel Pforzheimer: Who’s this one?
Steve Jobs: Alan Turing. Single-handedly won World War II and, for an encore, invented the computer. He won’t be part of the campaign though.
Joel Pforzheimer: Why not?
Steve Jobs: ’Cause you just had to ask me who he was.
& Joel Pforzheimer: He killed himself by taking a bite of a poison apple... Alan Turing.
Steve Jobs: Yeah. There should be statues of that man. His name should be on the lips of schoolchildren.
Joel Pforzheimer: The rainbow flag apple with a bite taken out... That’s where it came from?
Steve Jobs: No, we picked it off a list of friendly-sounding words. But wouldn’t it be great if that had been the story behind it?
& Wozniak: You know, when people used to ask me what the difference was between me and Steve Jobs, I would say Steve was the big-picture guy and I liked a solid workbench. When people ask me what the difference is now, I say «Steve’s an asshole.»... Your products are better than you are, brother.
Steve Jobs: That’s the idea, brother. And knowing that, that’s the difference.
Wozniak: It’s not binary. You can be decent and gifted at the same time.
& Steve Jobs: It was the stylus, John. I killed the Newton because of the stylus. If you’re holding a stylus, you can’t use the other five that are attached to your wrist... Things we could have done together.
John Sculley: God, the things we could’ve done...
& Steve Jobs: Of course it was named after you. Local Integrated System Architecture doesn't even mean anything.
Lisa: Why'd you say it wasn't all those years?
Steve Jobs: I honestly don't know.
Lisa: Why'd you say you weren't my father?
Steve Jobs: ... I'm poorly made.
& Steve Jobs: I’m gonna put music in your pocket.
Lisa: What?
Steve Jobs: Hundred songs. A thousand songs. 500 songs. Somewhere between 500 and a thousand songs right in your pocket, ’cause I can’t stand looking at that inexplicable Walkman anymore. You’re carrying around a brick playing cassette tape. We’re not savages.
& Joanna Hoffman: Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Jobs.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
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