Fakin' It

Arrested Development 3×10

& Michael: They’ve got one guy who won’t be talking. That is, unless, there’s a hand inside of him.
    Tobias: Please, Michael. Even then, I wouldn’t say anything.

& George Sr.: He, she... What’s the difference?
    Tobias: Hear! Hear! In the dark, it all looks the same.

& George Michael: It’s a great day... for being sad.

& Michael: You comin’ out?
    Tobias: No. No, I have to fight for my wife. I’m gonna keep my marriage alive.

& Narrator: And so, like many people... who no longer felt anything for each other, they decided to get married.

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& George Michael: Why can’t you be like Buster? He put himself in a coma to protect this family, poor kid.

& Maeby: I guess I just got a little weirded out. I mean, we’re cousins. It’s wrong.
    George Michael: Well, you know, the Torah tells us that the larger wrong... is to put our own feelings before the commitments we’ve made. You know, towards the sick, aged and gross.
    Narrator: That’s not in the Torah.

& George Michael: I’m not saying it’s not weird for me too. I’m saying maybe we could take those weird feelings and turn them into something positive.
    Narrator: He really wanted that kiss.

& Father Ben: I now pronounce you husband and wife.
    Narrator: For as it turns out, the fake priest was called to a patient’s room... and Father Ben filled in, not knowing it was fake. And that’s how the kids got married.

& Michael: I have an older sister?

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+ quotes on the IMDb