Indian Takers

Arrested Development 4×3

& Narrator: Now the story of a family whose future was abruptly canceled and the one daughter who had no choice but to keep her life together. It’s Lindsay’s... Arrested Development.

& Lucille: If I’d told them we were taking a bunch of gays out there to get married, they’d have thrown me a parade... Let’s tell them we were taking a bunch of gays to get married.
    Lindsay: Yeah, I don’t think your record on that issue is going to back that up, Mom. ...
    Lucille: Fine. We’ll say they took it on a joyride.

& Lindsay: I’ve spent years trying to fit into this family, and it’s not me. My life is a fallacy.
    Tobias: Oh...
        ♪ Is that a gal I see? ♪
        ♪ No, it’s just a phallus... eee! ♪
    We loved that. Where’s that from?

& Lindsay: Uh, were you able to book my 3:00 shaman?
Receptionist: Oh, yes. Did you want the deep wisdom or just a light ego cleanse?

---

& Michael: What deal did you strike with her? What part of her soul did you buy?
    Lucille: All I’ve asked is that she testify that I was a wonderful mother who did her best.
    Michael: So all of it.
    Lindsay: No, Michael. I’m not a whore. I don’t get any of the money until after I do the disgusting thing.

& James Carr: Yes! We’re gonna get you in the right house. ...
    Lindsay: We should be honest here.
    Tobias: We have no income flow. No incoming income flow. We have plenty of outgoing income.
    Lindsay: No savings, no credit. I mean, we had some stimmy, but that went to his hospital bills. But there’s one thing we do have—
    James Carr: Work ethic!
    Lindsay: Right. No work ethic.

& James Carr: We have to be realistic. I’m in the real estate business. It’s 2006. That’s all good enough for me. We’re gonna put you in a NINJA loan. «No income, no jobs, no assets.» And you don’t have to pay a penny for two years...

& Narrator: You have to remember that this was a time when banks were eager to create as much debt as possible.

& Tobias: ...the five-bedroom, four-car garage.
    James Carr: And I know that you guys are going to be okay with just one master bathroom, because a lot of people do prefer two. You know, they like to just have it.
    Lindsay: Maybe separate, so we have it.
    Tobias: So we have it. That way we have it.
    James Carr: That way you have it.

& Lindsay: How am I supposed to say something like «I love you, Mother!» and sound believable?

--
On the IMDb

6000th!