The Space Probe Disintegration

The Big Bang Theory 8×12

& Penny: All right, let’s see. What’s something fun the guys would never take us to do? Oh, I know— we could go horseback riding.
    Amy: I actually can’t. My hips don’t open wider than 22 degrees.

& Amy: I actually can’t go ice-skating. I have unnaturally brittle ankles.
    Penny: Is there any part of your body that’s normal?
    Amy: :-) Ah-m.

& Penny: All right, keep thinking.
    Sheldon: You’re making it too complicated. Why not stick to the basics? Go shopping for clothes while Leonard and I sit in those uncomfortable chairs and hold your purses, hmm? I know I’d hate that. Leonard?
    Leonard: Well, yeah!

& Raj: Ugh, I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack.
    Howard: You work in pharmaceuticals— don’t you have anything you can give him?
    Bernadette: All I have is our new urine flow drug. Won’t help with his anxiety, but it’s so strong, when he pees he’ll fly around the room like he’s got a jet pack.

& Howard: Maybe you need to do something more productive.
    Raj: Okay. Ah. If I make this shot in the trash can, the probe will have arrived in perfect working order.
    Howard: So, in addition to being crazy, you’re resting the fate of the mission on your athletic prowess?

& Raj: Okay. It all... comes down... to this.
    Howard: You happy? Now you can relax.
    Raj: What kind of scientist are you? Everyone knows you got to make two out of three.

& Leonard: This isn’t so bad.
    Sheldon: That’s easy for you to say. Your chair’s not facing the lingerie section... Boy, that’s a lot of panties.

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& Leonard: Uh, I’ve got some bad news. There’s no cell service in here.
    Sheldon: Oh. Well, that’s all right. There were plenty of ways to pass the time before smart phones were invented.
    Leonard: That’s true.
    Sheldon: I’ll look them up... Son of a biscuit!

& Sheldon: If there’s one thing I know about after living with you for so many years, it’s how to compromise.
    Leonard: I-I’m sorry? You make compromises for me?
    Sheldon: All the time.
    Leonard: ....On Earth? In our lives? That-That we’re living?

& Leonard: A compromise is me driving you everywhere because you refuse to learn how.
    Sheldon: Oh, I learned how. Amy taught me.
    Leonard: What? Then-Then why don’t you do it?
    Sheldon: Uh, well, it’s scary. And sometimes I get the pedals mixed up. But, more importantly, driving me to work is one of the things that gives your life purpose. I can’t take that away from you, so... what do I do?.... Oh, come on, I’m practically feeding you the answer! I compromise.

& Raj: If it’s okay with you, I’d like to go to temple.
    Howard: Buddy, trust me, you don’t want to convert to Judaism. I mean, I know I make it look cool, but... it’s not all briskets and dreidels.
    Raj: I meant a Hindu temple.
    Howard: Oh. Okay... It’s not like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, right? Some bald guy with horns isn’t gonna rip my heart out.
    Raj: Dude, that movie’s an imperialist fantasy that makes the followers of a beautiful and peaceful religion look like a bunch of bloodthirsty barbarians.
    Howard: You love that movie.
    Raj: Yeah, it’s pretty great.

& Amy: How’s it going in there?
    Penny: Eh. Not really a great outfit for work, unless something opens up in the hookers and whores division.

& Sheldon: .....Oh, here’s another one. I wish that the apple pancake mix was on the top shelf because it starts with an «A,» but I don’t put it there because I don’t want you breaking one of your little legs when you’re supposed to be making my breakfast.

& Leonard: Is it my turn to talk about the compromises I make?
    Sheldon: I wasn’t done, but go ahead... He said, compromising.

& Sheldon: You think you’re so tolerant, but the truth is... you’re mean to me a lot. Yeah, you think that I don’t notice all those sarcastic comments and those eye rolls, but I do. Hmm? I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day, I can see my ears.

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