Baby on Board

Modern Family 3×24

& Gloria: Jay, Manny! Good news. Mitch and Cam are getting a new baby today.
    Jay: Really? That’s fantastic.

& Phil: Always keep the rhythm in your feet. Then we’re gonna add just a little party in the shoulders, all right? Now let’s get those arms goin’. No. no, no, no. Arms up here. Arms down here say «I’m white and I’m sorry.» Arms up here say «I don’t know what I’m doing!»
    Alex: I’m not.

& Alex: Yes, my bad-boy prom date is gay. He just doesn’t know it yet, so I’m basically his beard. Pre-beard. His stubble.

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& Claire: Allow me, if you will, to paint an accurate picture ... of this life you think you want, okay?.. Um, at first, it’s a blast. Buying a dish rack, hanging a sheet up to turn one room into two.
    Phil: Allen-wrenching a bookcase called a Njarnk because you couldn’t afford the Sklurg.
    Claire: But then— Then those bills start rollin’ in, so you gotta pick up some extra shifts, and suddenly— Uh-oh, what’s that? You’re pregnant.
    Phil: You should’ve been safe.
    Claire: Oh, and you’re stressed and exhausted. You’ve got a garage filled with unsold huge T-shirts. And, honey, if you think this kind of stress... is not going to take its toll on that body and that face, think again. Good-bye, beautiful skin. Farewell, silky hair. And hello, Alex’s hand-me-downs, ’cause you can’t afford to shop.
    Haley: Ah.
    Phil: Good one.
    Claire: Mm-hmm.

& Phil: ...Guess what. Suddenly you’re 60 years old, wandering toothless and alone in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
    Haley: Wait a second. How did Dylan get the nuclear codes again?

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