Derek 2×7

Christmas Special

& Tom: It’s not the best job in the world, but... It’s not great. But it pays money and you need money for things that are great. Like a kid.

& Derek: God rested on Sunday, didn’t he? Hannah don’t. She works seven days a week. Helping people, innit?

& Father Richard: So, you’re both Christian, though.
    Hannah: What do you mean by Christian?
    Tom: What do you mean by both?
    Father Richard: What?

& Father Richard:
    Hannah: Well, I don’t want to lie, so it’s probably fair to say that I don’t go along with all the mumbo jumbo side of it, but I do try and live a good life, and I am forgiving.
    Tom: I’m Jewish.
    Father Richard: Jewish...
    Tom: Yeah. Again, I was raised Jewish, but I don’t believe in a Jewish God.
    Father Richard: I mean, it’s the same God...
    Tom: OK. Er, I don’t believe in any God.
    Father Richard: Um, well, that... So, neither of you really believe in God, and, er, you’re Jewish...
    Kev: So, have you not got a foreskin?

& Derek: We all needs a mate... It’s natural. And it might take you a while to find the right one, but you will. And you might lose ’em, but it was good that you found them in the first place.

& Derek: Joan used to say, «If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.»

& Derek: If we can’t care for everyone, what’s the point?

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& Kev: It’s not that I can’t live without drink, all right? I’ve just given up trying to be happy.

& Hannah: Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to stop drinking. You’re going to stop drowning your sorrows and get through your day sober. And you will lay awake at night wishing you were dead and you’ll wake up in the morning wishing you were dead but you’re just going to get through it and that will keep going on, all right? You’ll keep wishing you were dead, waking up wishing you were dead, but one night, you’ll sleep, and one morning, you’ll wake up wishing you were dead just a little bit less and then you’ll stop wishing you were dead altogether. And you’ll start wishing you had a better life. And then you’ll start living. And that will all have been because of Derek.

& Hannah: I forgot the father of the bride makes a speech.
    Kev: I think we’re all agreed this is quite a tragic event. They couldn’t do a church. She’s dressed in white when she’s about to drop a sprog. She works 60 hours a week while her new husband works on the bins. They haven’t got a pot to piss in, money-wise, hence the low-budget reception in an old people’s home with some of the worst guests you could imagine... Definitely. The best man is an absolute psycho. No offence, mate... And her dad is dead, hence me of all people giving her away. And they’ve got no honeymoon whatsoever to look forward to... Awful. And it got me thinking, «Has there ever been a worse wedding than this?» And then I remembered a story I was told when I was at school.
        On April 29th, 1945, in Berlin, with the Russian army closing in, Adolf Hitler, in his bunker, married the love of his life Eva Braun. They drank champagne, ate some cake and retired to bed. In the morning, Eva took some cyanide, Adolf shot himself in the head and the gardener burnt their bodies. And that is a worse wedding than this. To the bride and groom.
    — To the bride and groom!
    Derek: Well done, Kev.

& Hannah: D’you know what we’ve called him?
    Derek: Justin Timberlake!
    Hannah: No!
    Derek: What?
    Hannah: Derek.
    Derek: Really?
    Hannah: Yeah.
    Derek: Baby Derek.
    Hannah: We hope he turns out as brilliant as you. He’d better. Cos Derek’s a fucking dreadful name.

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On the IMDb

Σ Brilliant. Just & simply brilliant. Very touching. As always.