St. Vincent

& Vincent: So, this Irish guy, knocks on this lady’s door and says, ya know, ya got any... any work for me? And she say, Um... well, ya know, as a matter of fact, ya... ya can paint the porch. About two hours later the guy comes back and says, «I’m finished, Ma’am, but just for your information it’s not a Porch, it’s a BMW.....»

& Vincent: I don’t need to hear the whole story.

& Vincent: You never seen Abbott and Costello?
    Oliver: No, sir, are they old?
    Vincent: No, they’re dead. That’s the oldest you can be.
    Oliver: Or the youngest... time freezes when you’re dead.

& Vincent: And my tree?
    Maggie: I’m not sure how... I can pay for a branch.
    Vincent: Everything has a price, you’re an adult, you should know that.

& Vincent: You better buckle-up.
    Oliver: You’re not buckled.
    Vincent: My life is my problem.

& Vincent: Your father never taught you to defend yourself?
    Oliver: No, sir, he’s a pacifist.
    Vincent: Well, this country wasn’t founded by tree huggers, that’s for sure.

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& Oliver: Who is she?
    Vincent: A «lady of the night».
    Oliver: What’s that?
    Vincent: It’s... one of the more honest ways to make a living.

& Vincent: Don’t ever become a pencil-pusher, kid, they’re spineless.

& Vincent: If you’re a telemarketer, please leave a message so I can NOT return your call.

& Vincent: There’s no point in yappin’, ’cause no one’s listenin’. Let’s hear it.
Oliver: Excuse me, Sir!!
Vincent: Ya can’t get nothin’ in this world without bein’ heard.

& Oliver: Good night, Vin.
Vincent: Yeah, we’ll see about that.

& Maggie: So, how did you and Vincent know each other?
    Daka: I’m working for this man.
    Maggie: Oh! Doing what?
    Daka: Working. I work for dancer.

& Maggie: Is that Vince’s...?
    Oliver: Baby?
    Maggie: Yeah.
    Oliver: I’d like to stay away from the whole situation.

& Vincent: Where’s all my dirt?

& Oliver: Sorry, Vin... for your loss.
    Vincent: Never understood why people say that.
    Oliver: They don’t know what else to say.
    Vincent: How about: «What was she like?», "Do you miss her?«or «What are you gonna do now?»

& Vincent: Do yourself a favor, get a life.

& Daka: My water is broken!
    Vincent: Call a plumber.

& Vincent: So, what is it? Black? White? Ugly?

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More info on the IMDb