Send Out the Clowns

Modern Family 3×18

& Claire: Hey, how come you guys haven’t accepted my friend requests?
    Haley: I didn’t know you were on Facebook.
    Alex: Yeah, you said it was only for teenagers and people looking to have affairs.
    Claire: Well, I figured if you can’t fight it— Not having the affair. That’s still bad. No, not that. But there’s nothing wrong with catching up with a few old friends, right? Or doin’ a little social networking with my B.F.F.’s.
    Luke: Social networking or social not-working?

& Claire: So what do you say? Accept my friend thingy.
    Alex: Sorry, Mom, I-I didn’t get a friend thingy from you.
    Haley: Yeah, you know, they have a lot of blocks on there to protect kids from weirdos.
    Claire: Mmm, okay. Good, good. I’ll send it again.
    Alex: Great. Please do... Please don’t.

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& Phil: She cheated, she lied, and she won. Kids, gather round.
    Haley: Again, we are gathered.
    Phil: You want to get ahead? Don’t play by the rules. Turns out nice guys finish last in this cold, dog-eat-dog world.

& Phil: Mitzi.
    Mitzi: Your kid forgot his cereal. There’s a surprise in every box. It’s diabetes.

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