You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For

Two and a Half Men 10×4

& Missi: I love Halloween. Last year, I went to this party as a slutty nurse. The year before that, I was a slutty cat, and before that, I was a ladybug.
    Walden: A slutty ladybug?
    Missi: What? No! Why would I be a slutty ladybug?

& Missi: Are you lonely?
    Walden: You know, I got Alan.
    Missi: Yeah, but Alan doesn’t keep you warm at night.
    Walden: You’d be surprised.

& Missi: Listen, um... I have this idea. You know, you might think that it’s kind of crazy...
    Walden: Okay.
    Missi: I was just thinking, you know... since you’re single and you’re super hot and a really nice guy.
    Walden: Yeah...
    Missi: That, you know, maybe you’d like to hook up with my mom.
    Walden: What?!

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& Berta: That, my friends, is what you get when hillbillies have unprotected sex with hummingbirds.

& Missi: Hi, soldier. You must be Jake. I’m sleeping in your room.
    Jake: God bless America.

& Walden: That was like being there the first time Beavis met Butt-Head.
    Alan: Wait till Beavis sees Butt-Head in a bikini.

& Alan: Let me ask you something, Jake. Knowing what you know now, and feeling how you feel now... would you have done anything differently?
    Jake: No. I just would have done it a few more times.

& Walden: Hey, wait. Wait a second. I... I’m flattered that you think I’d be good for your mom. But I was just curious. At any point in time, did you think that maybe you and me?
    Missi: Ew.
    Walden: A simple ’no’ would suffice.

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