Princess Party

Modern Family 2×15

& Claire: I told you you could go if you got a «B» on your history exam, which you didn’t.
    Haley: I have a learning disability. The letters jump around on the page and appear backwards.
    Claire: Honey, we had you tested, like, six times. Trust me, I was praying for dyslexia.

& Claire: This is, um, Robbie... my boyfriend from when I was 17 years old, whom my mom invited to dinner.
    Robbie: Fasten your seat belts.
    Phil: Phil Dunphy.
    Robbie: Phil, how do you know Claire?
    Phil: I know Claire from being married to Claire.

& Claire: I just don’t understand why you invited him to my house.
    Dede: Because he’s an old friend. What was I gonna do, not invite him?
    Claire: Yes. Yes!
    Dede: Sweetheart... I don’t know about you, but that is not the way I was raised.
    Claire: You raised me!
    Dede: You’re overthinking this.

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& Dede: I was thinking that it might be a hoot for you to see him again.
    Claire: And did you think it might be a hoot to ask me first?
    Dede: No. If I’d asked you, you would have said no.
    Claire: Of course, Mom. Of course I would have said no.
    Dede: Oh, and I’m the bad guy? Honestly, Claire, I wish I had a tape recorder.

& Jay: What the hell is she doing? He’s half her age... Don’t say it!
    Gloria: I think it’s sweet. Love is beautiful. It has no age. When it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. That is the question.

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+ quotes on the IMDb