8 окт. 2014 г.

A Million Ways to Die in the West

& Albert: I look like I have Parkinson’s next to him.
    Louise: What is that?
    Albert: It’s just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us.

& Millie: Say, Edward, do you mind if I ask you something?
    Edward: Uh, yeah, sure.
    Millie: You’re okay with your girlfriend screwing 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it?
    Edward: Well, my job sucks, too.
    Millie: I know. But, I mean, you repair shoes.

& Dad: You’re late!
    Albert: For what?
    Dad: Fair enough.

& Albert: I almost wish you could smile in photographs. Louise has such an amazing smile...
    Edward: That’d be weird. Have you ever smiled in a photograph?
    Albert: No, have you?
    Edward: Oh, God, no. No, you’d look like an insane person.

& Albert: That, my friends, is the American West. A disgusting, awful, dirty cesspool of despair, and fuck all of it.

& Edward: Hey, hey, dude, you really shouldn’t drink and horse.

& Foy: What’s up, kiddo? Never seen you in here before.
    Albert: Just browsing.


& Anna: God, why are the Indians always so mad?
    Albert: I don’t know.
    Anna: I mean, we’re basically splitting this country 50-50 with them. They’re just selfish.

& Snake Oil Salesman: Welcome, welcome. Can I interest you in a miracle cure? I have only the finest healing tonics and elixirs procured from the farthest corners of the globe.
    Albert: «Ogden’s Celebrated Stomach Bitters...» Can I just ask, celebrated by who? Who’s celebrating about stomach bitters?
    Anna: God. Look at the ingredients. «Cocaine, alcohol, morphine, mercury with chalk.» What the hell is «mercury with chalk»?
    Salesman: Science!

& Albert: I like your bustle, by the way.
    Anna: Oh, yeah. I really love that the most alluring fashion statement a woman can make today is to simulate a fat ass.
    Albert: That is a simulation of a fat ass, right there! If I was a black guy, this is the meanest trick you could play on me. Because I’d be like, «Oh, my God! Look. There’s a fat ass, my favorite.» And then I’d lift it up and I’d be like, «Oh, shit, it’s a big joke.»
    Anna: I know, exactly, because when you lift it up there’s nothing but a metal cage under there.

& Albert: What, uh... What’s that?
    Dr. Emmett Brown: Nothing. It’s a weather experiment.

& Albert: So, if you want to spend the rest of your life with a pussy full of hair, I say, go with God and best of luck to you... ..... You know, I just realized that last joke might not have been clear. I didn’t mean that she has a hairy pussy. I meant that Foy has a moustache, so, you know, he gets hair in her when he goes down there... Yeah.

& Anna: I knocked him out, and I stuck a daisy in his asshole.
    Albert: You what?!
    Anna: That’s how much you mean to me.

& Cochise: Did you shoot the black condor and kick it in the balls?

& Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness... is to take drugs in a group.

& Anna: Oh, God. That was never gonna work out anyway. He’s Methodist, I’m half-Jewish.
    Albert: Are you? You are?
    Anna: No!
    Albert: Oh, thank God!
    Anna: You’re not really Arabic, are you?
    Albert: No, no, no.
    Anna: Oh, thank God. Because I was like, «Ah, kill me!»
    Albert: I know, right? «No! Oh, my God!»

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+ quotes on the IMDb

Σ Funny. Someone just need to relax and enjoy it. All the pleasure in a small details.

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