The Knick 1×6
& Dr. Thackery: You know what this is?
Dr. Chickering: A Champetier DE Ribes balloon.
Dr. Thackery: Correct. Used in the vaginal canal to speed dilation. But I don’t like it.
Dr. Chickering: Why not?
Dr. Thackery: Because it’s French and I didn’t invent it. And it’s also the wrong shape for our purposes. Good old American basketball. Much more preferable.
& Dr. Thackery: Well, I’ve been trying it on the girls and we need more study. That’s why we’re gonna spend the rest of the night in here inserting these into our lady friends and testing all variables.
& Dr. Chickering: Well, they’re not pregnant. So there’s gonna be a problem with the difference of the size of the uterus as well as the lack of Di...
Dr. Thackery: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dr. Chickering: ...dilation of the cervix.
Dr. Thackery: That’s all true. But, you know, our budget won’t allow for pregnant prostitutes. So we’re just gonna have to make do with what we see here.
& Inspector Speight: Where are you, Typhoid Mary?
& Barrow: And it works fine?
Mr. Luff: Like it was new. My children were taking dozens of X-rays of themselves on it the other day. Had the thing running for hours. No trouble at all.
& Barrow: Never had an X-ray made.
Mr. Luff: Well, what would you like to see? Your hand? Rib cage perhaps?..
Barrow: My head.
Mr. Luff: Why not? Step right over here.
& Mr. Luff: Now, the trick is to stay as still as possible for the best results. There... This should take about an hour.
& Abby: It’s a lovely day.
Dr. Thackery: Well, it was looking like rain.
Abby:
It always looks like rain if you only look at the clouds. Don’t look at the clouds so much, John.
& Mr. Luff: People now believe passionately in the men who will bring them miracles... doctors, inventors, architects. These are the new American gods. Edison, Halsted, and Roebling. Technology and innovation will be the world’s salvation and the people know it. They crave what’s coming next. And their faith... ah, their faith is
bottomless.
& Dr. Thackery: You want me to invent medicines for you? That’s not my field of expertise.
Mr. Luff: No need. The medicine’s already been crafted. Dr. Thackery’s Rejuvenation Liniment. Rub it on your trouble spots thrice daily, your malady will disappear.
& Dr. Thackery: ’Dr. Thackery’s Rejuvenation Liniment treats rheumatism, neuralgia, sciatica, crippled back, lumbago, contracted muscles, toothaches, sprains, kidney pain, liver troubles, heart lameness, leg swellings, and cataracts.’ Is that all?
& Mr. Luff: Let’s not be coy with each other, Doctor. This is a booming market. We want our share of it. Last year Dr. Ayers’ Pectoral Plaster, Brown’s Bronchial Troches, Dr. Corbett’s Brain Food, and Dr. Wordsley’s Female Pills accounted for $5 million in sales. Dr. Pepper’s Brain Tonic is doing so well, they’re serving it at fountains all around the city. As much a beverage as it is a remedy.
& Dr. Thackery: Can you give me some time to think about it?
Mr. Luff: Absolutely. How much time do you need?
Dr. Thackery: Until hell freezes over. In the meantime, would you be so kind as to stick your head firmly up your ass? ’Away, you mouldy rogue. Away.’
& Dr. Chickering: Father wants me to join his practice at Columbia. But why would I do that when I could be watching the man invent the future right in front of me? To work so closely with a surgeon of his genius, it’s...
Nurse Elkins: Intoxicating?
Dr. Chickering: Yeah.
& Dr. Thackery: The baby is alive. The patient will live to mother it. Gentlemen, I give you the Christiansen-... Thackery-... Chickering Placental Repair.
& Dr. Thackery: You know, this is good. This is better than good.
Dr. Edwards: So where do we go from here?
& Dr. Edwards: I don’t want you just to get me when you can’t find someone else.
Dr. Thackery: And if I don’t allow you?
Dr. Edwards: Then I’ll take my future discoveries elsewhere. And you will miss out on all the fun.
& Dr. Thackery: Dr. Edwards.
Dr. Edwards: Hmm?
Dr. Thackery: May I officially welcome you to the Knick?
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