& Kymberly: I’m Kymberly. With a Y.
Rose: .... I’m Rose. With an R.
& Brad: Oh! David Clark. You’re a hard man to find.... Take it easy on the plastic.
David: Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this? Look, man, I was gonna call you back. Do not kill me. I got robbed, okay. I swear.
Brad: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you—? What—? Oh, the plastic?
David: Yeah, the plastic. I’ve seen Dexter!
& Brad: Yeah, I bought an orca. I make a lot of money.
David: So you bought a whale?
Brad: Well, I don’t like sports cars.
& Todd: I want you to start having sex with the customers for money.
Rose: What? That’s totally illegal, Todd. Come on, what are you gonna do?
Todd: I gotta stay competitive with those fuckers who opened up across the street.
Rose: You mean the Apple Store?
Todd: Yeah, and they’re killing us.
& Hairdresser: Okay, what are we doing today?
David: Yeah, I say, give me something that says: “I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour to a bullshit job... where my boss expects me to kiss his balls all day... so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit... and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos... until the day I get the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth.”
Hairdresser: .............
Customer: Right here.
David: Yeah. That’s it. That’s the one.
& Rose: And who’s that?
David: Well, that’s your daughter. Casey.
& Rose: Lord, we thank thee for the blessing of this family vacation. May David find his bliss and bring us home back safely. May Kenny and Casey fortify their sibling bond... over the warm glow of our devoted hearts. And may this entire airplane find safe passage... and a bountiful life. Even the Jews.
David: Amen.
Stewardess: That was a good one.
& David: Whoo! Did you see that? I told you this RV would work! We totally blend.
Rose: Congratulations. You just snuck into Mexico.
& David: You wanna know something I used to do when I was your age... kept me from getting nervous around girls?
Kenny: Yeah.
David: I would just count to three.
Kenny: Count to three?.. That’s your big advice? Count to three?
David: Yeah. I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl or ask her to go out, or I mean... Actually, if you get scared of anything, just do this: just count to three... and then do it. Because if you take too long, you overthink it and you’ll just drive yourself crazy.
& Don: You and Rose seem hotter for each other than a couple mice... having sexual congress in a wool sock.
& Pablo Chacon: You all die now. But together as a family, with honor.
& David: Trust me. Kenny is fine.
Kenny: I can’t feel my bingo.
& Scottie P.: What’s up, dawg?
David: Not much, dawg. What’s up with you?
Scottie P.: Here to pick up Casey, know what I’m saying?
David: I’m awake and I speak English, so, yeah, I do know. What’s your name, man?
Scottie P.: Scottie P., you know what I’m saying? Ha-ha.
David: Again, I do know what you’re saying. But I appreciate you continuing to check in with me.
& Rose: Casey, make good choices!.. Come on, she’s gonna be fine.
David: Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet. Actually, she might already be pregnant.
& Rose: Why the counting? If you’re gonna punch someone, punch them on one.
Kenny: Well, David told me to count.
Rose: David? David hasn’t punched anybody ever.
& David: Don’t kill them. Please. Just kill me.
Pablo Chacon: Tell you what, I’ll make a deal, okay?
David: Okay.
Pablo Chacon: I kill you first so you don’t watch your family die.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ A good one.
Rose: .... I’m Rose. With an R.
& Brad: Oh! David Clark. You’re a hard man to find.... Take it easy on the plastic.
David: Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this? Look, man, I was gonna call you back. Do not kill me. I got robbed, okay. I swear.
Brad: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you—? What—? Oh, the plastic?
David: Yeah, the plastic. I’ve seen Dexter!
& Brad: Yeah, I bought an orca. I make a lot of money.
David: So you bought a whale?
Brad: Well, I don’t like sports cars.
& Todd: I want you to start having sex with the customers for money.
Rose: What? That’s totally illegal, Todd. Come on, what are you gonna do?
Todd: I gotta stay competitive with those fuckers who opened up across the street.
Rose: You mean the Apple Store?
Todd: Yeah, and they’re killing us.
& Hairdresser: Okay, what are we doing today?
David: Yeah, I say, give me something that says: “I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour to a bullshit job... where my boss expects me to kiss his balls all day... so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit... and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos... until the day I get the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth.”
Hairdresser: .............
Customer: Right here.
David: Yeah. That’s it. That’s the one.
& Rose: And who’s that?
David: Well, that’s your daughter. Casey.
& Rose: Lord, we thank thee for the blessing of this family vacation. May David find his bliss and bring us home back safely. May Kenny and Casey fortify their sibling bond... over the warm glow of our devoted hearts. And may this entire airplane find safe passage... and a bountiful life. Even the Jews.
David: Amen.
Stewardess: That was a good one.
& David: Whoo! Did you see that? I told you this RV would work! We totally blend.
Rose: Congratulations. You just snuck into Mexico.
& David: You wanna know something I used to do when I was your age... kept me from getting nervous around girls?
Kenny: Yeah.
David: I would just count to three.
Kenny: Count to three?.. That’s your big advice? Count to three?
David: Yeah. I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl or ask her to go out, or I mean... Actually, if you get scared of anything, just do this: just count to three... and then do it. Because if you take too long, you overthink it and you’ll just drive yourself crazy.
& Don: You and Rose seem hotter for each other than a couple mice... having sexual congress in a wool sock.
& Pablo Chacon: You all die now. But together as a family, with honor.
& David: Trust me. Kenny is fine.
Kenny: I can’t feel my bingo.
& Scottie P.: What’s up, dawg?
David: Not much, dawg. What’s up with you?
Scottie P.: Here to pick up Casey, know what I’m saying?
David: I’m awake and I speak English, so, yeah, I do know. What’s your name, man?
Scottie P.: Scottie P., you know what I’m saying? Ha-ha.
David: Again, I do know what you’re saying. But I appreciate you continuing to check in with me.
& Rose: Casey, make good choices!.. Come on, she’s gonna be fine.
David: Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet. Actually, she might already be pregnant.
& Rose: Why the counting? If you’re gonna punch someone, punch them on one.
Kenny: Well, David told me to count.
Rose: David? David hasn’t punched anybody ever.
& David: Don’t kill them. Please. Just kill me.
Pablo Chacon: Tell you what, I’ll make a deal, okay?
David: Okay.
Pablo Chacon: I kill you first so you don’t watch your family die.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ A good one.
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