Altar Egos

Arrested Development 1×16

& Michael: I don’t understand how a person can put their sex life in front of their work.
    Gob: He’s a man, Michael. He needs a woman.

& Lindsay: We would like you to tutor our daughter.
    Tobias: Now, of course, we’re having a bit of a cash-flow problem... but I assure you... if you bring our little girl’s grades up... I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream... you’ll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block.
    George Michael: We’re the only house on the block...
    Tobias: Perhaps we should get somebody else.

& Michael: I’m not a one-night stand kind of guy. I don’t like lying to women.
    Gob: These are lawyers... that’s Latin for „liar.”

& Maggie: I’m Maggie Lizer, as in „Maggie lies her ass off.”

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& Maggie: What’s your name?
    Michael: Chareth.
    Maggie: Chareth. Oh. So then what’s your last name?
    Michael: Cute story...
    Maggie: Cutestory?
    Michael: Yes.
    Maggie: Chareth Cutestory. That’s an interesting name.

& George Michael: You know you, you even got your name wrong here. It says, „S. Fünke.”
    Maeby: Yeah, well, see, what they want you to do... is put an „S” if you’re single, an „M” if you’re married. I mean, most of us are all single, but it’s a whole government thing, so...

& Gob: Boy, you had to work hard to bag this blind girl, huh?
    Michael: I certainly can’t take advantage of her now, knowing what I know.
    Gob: What? No! Michael, you can! Don’t you... You’ve just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics! She can’t ever find you again.

& Bride of Gob: God! Do you ever listen to what I say?
    Gob: I’m sorry I don’t memorize every word that comes out of your mouth. Sometimes I just like to think... think my thoughts.

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