Misfits 5×7

& Sarah: You’re Alex, aren’t you?
    Alex: Mm-hm.
    Sarah: I need you to take my power.
    Alex: Is that right? And what power might that be?
    Sarah: I’ve got hypnotic tits.
    Alex: ........
    Sarah: Can we just get this over with?

& Abby: So tomorrow’s the one-year anniversary of the storm. Thus it is my birthday.
    Rudy-2: And mine. I’m gonna be one.

& Abby: Well, we’ve having a party here at the Community Centre and you’re all invited.
    Finn: Question.
    Abby: Yes, there’ll be a buffet!

& Abby: So it’s going to be like a normal first birthday party but instead of pass the parcel and little paper hats, there’ll be vodka and drugs and people fucking each other.

& Rudy: Finlay! My child! Please, I insist. Anything you want. Anything up to the value of... 60 whole English pennies, dude.

& Finn: Why are you being so nice to me?
    Rudy: No rea... Dude, what the f...? When did you get so cynical? Whatever happened to me bright-eyed little sunbeam, with his little hatful of hope there?

& Rudy: Dude, I’m not joking, Finn. We are. We’re boyfriend and girlfriend, Finn. We... We fuck and stuff and spoon. We’re shagging. We’re fuck spoons.
    Finn: Did you really think I was going to fall for that?!
    Rudy: Fuck’s sake.
    Finn: Jess likes pretty boys, like me... and Alex. Just... You’re not her type, mate, trust me.

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& Greg: Addiction... is a weakness. And weakness must be stamped upon.

& Abby: Probation Worker, are you saying you’d like to come to our party?
    Greg: Would you like me to come to your party?

& Rudy: I’ve got you all a present, actually, cos it’s been one year since the storm. Here you are, dude. Here you are, love. Finlay. Abs. It’s a pill. And no, I didn’t get a fucking gift receipt, so happy anniversary, you dickheads.

& Abby: Hiya, I’m Abby — the birthday girl.

& Helen: You’re Rudy 1.
    Rudy: Rudy. It’s just Rudy.

& Rudy: D’you know what you’re doing? You’re trying to split up the band. Me and him are the fuckin’ Beatles, mate, and you’re just that yodelling Chinese... woman.
    Helen: Yoko Ono?
    Rudy: Yeah.
    Helen: She’s Japanese.
    Rudy: Is she? Yeah? Well, when it all goes fuckin’ tits up it’ll be me that he comes running back to, won’t it, with his tiny little penis between his legs?

& Maggie: Rudy 1 or Rudy 2?
    Rudy: It’s Rudy! It’s just Rudy! I’m Ghostbusters, he’s Ghostbusters II, and everybody knows Ghostbusters II was a right piece of shit.

& Maggie: Do you know ecstasy reverses your power? Whatever your power is, it makes it do the opposite.

& Alex: My mate... he got turned into an agent of Satan and I had to fuck him in the arse.
    Sarah: Oh, nice!
    Alex: Yeah. Oh, and I almost, almost shagged a tortoise once.
    Sarah: So, you do draw the line at shagging animals? Good to know.

& Finn: What are you doing?
    Abby: I’m waiting for Mark to come up on his pill.
    Finn: You gave ecstasy to a turtle?
    Abby: I gave ecstasy to a tortoise.
    Finn: Yeah. You know, this really is the worst party ever.

& Tim: How’s your night?
    Finn: Yeah, pretty... Pretty shit.

& Rudy-2: I think I’m your mentor. Actually, you know, like the, um... Like the talking rat on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the, er... Splinter!

& Karen: What would we do if... we were a gang of superheroes?
    Rudy-2: Well, you’d fight crime, like... muggers, and rapists, and things like that.
    Karen: Sounds quite... dangerous.
    Sam: She’s right. Forget the rapists. We could focus on people who drop chewing gum.

& Rudy: Mate, we have got a fucking major problem — it’s this jumper thing. Jess, she’s having a baby. We’re gonna be a dad.

& Alex: And I shagged all of my powers into her.
Ω Terrifically terrifying. Rudy, Rudy...

& Helen: We’re getting a better name.
    Rudy-2: We’re gonna be unstoppable.

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On the IMDb