The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Two and a Half Men 8×5

& Alan: Alrighty. Here we go. Thirty-eight dollars and 41 cents for school pictures.
    Jake: Thanks... You forgot to sign it.
    Alan: No... Did I? Oh, silly me. Ha, ha.
    Jake: Um, “Alan Jerome Harper, D.C.” District of Columbia?
    Alan: Doctor of Chiropractic. You know, not everyone can use those letters after his name.
    Jake: Congratulations. Give me the check.

& Charlie: If you knew what I’d done on that table, you wouldn’t put your face on it...

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& Charlie: Okay, I know I give you a hard time... but it makes me feel horrible watching you go through this. You know what I’m gonna do?
    Alan: What?
    Charlie: Stop watching you... I’m starting to feel better already.

& Alan: Oh, boy, ha, ha, role playing. Can I be the man?
    Gretchen: Are you serious?
    Alan: Well, I’ve had a bad run lately.

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