A Khan Christmas

Citizen Khan 2×7

& Mr. Khan: Why does everyone cover their bloomin’ houses in lights every Christmas? You people not heard of global warming?

& Mr. Khan: What the hell is going on?
    Dave: The local church is using the community centre for their Christmas Fayre.
    Mr. Khan: And what’s next? Kumbaya instead of the call to prayer?
    Dave: We can still celebrate Christmas. After all, Jesus is a Muslim prophet too.
    Mr. Khan: Yes, but he’s not the best one.

& Shazia: How’s the turkey?.. It’s huge! Do you know how long to cook it for?
    Mrs. Khan: Of course. It’s just a big chicken.
    Shazia: Is it Halal?

& Mr. Khan: You know what, Dave? This is the worst Christmas Fayre this mosque has ever had!

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& Mr. Khan: I’m looking for Christmas tree... How much?
    Christmas Tree Seller: 50 quid.
    Mr. Khan: £50? Is it a famous tree?
    Christmas Tree Seller: I don’t think so.
    Mr. Khan: I don’t want the actual tree Baby Jesus was born in. I want the ordinary one.

& Mr. Khan: Sweetie, calm down, I don’t know what you’re talking about... What, that stupid Arab thing?.. That’s what I said, that stupid Arab important family heirloom thing.

& Mr. Khan: Salaam aleikum and a Merry Christmas.

& Amjad: I need to get a present for my fiancee. She said we weren’t doing presents, so I thought she didn’t want me to get one. But it turns out she meant she did want me to get one. So I have to get one!
    Mr. Khan: Ho-ho-ho!
    Amjad: It’s not funny!
    Mr. Khan: Amjad! It’s me! Mr Khan.
    Amjad: You’re Father Christmas?! But if...? Then how...? When?!

& Mrs. Tawfiq: This is nice. Interesting choice, having a pigeon instead of a turkey.

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