House M.D. 8x16

Gut Check

& Chase: Fighting’s the best part of hockey. Without it, you’ve got the Ice Capades.
    Taub: Fighting has nothing to do with hockey. It’s like the cheerleaders at a basketball game.
    Chase: Cheerleading’s the best part of basketball. Without it you’ve got... Basketball.

& House: Taub... I’d tell you why I think your theory is not just wrong but ill-conceived, but it’s more fun to prove it by having you check the stool for blood. And while we wait for the stool fairy, I’m a man down, so you want to drop your pants and hit the ice.

& House: The sound of a needy child is stirring your paternal juices.
    Wilson: The sound of a needy child at 112 decibels has stirred my inner murderer.

& Wilson: There are actually things in this world that give life even more meaning than soap operas and monster trucks.

& House: ... You passed out. She called that night, asked me to give you a message. She said she was pregnant... Which, God and Planned Parenthood willing, means you are the father of an 11-year-old.

& Wilson: Who knows what Beth told him about you?..
    House: At worst, you’re a rapist. At best... you’re a rapist.
    Wilson: Maybe she said I was a dead war hero.

& Wilson: You’re assuming he’s going to be a nightmare. What if he’s a good kid?
    House: He’s a kid. Best you can hope for is he’s a nightmare.

& Park: I moved into Chase’s apartment!
    Chase: ?????
    Park: He knows. He was staring at our matching cups! I told you we should split up... We’re not having sex! With each other..
    House: Yet.
    Park: Yes.
    Chase: Yes?!!
    Park: I just mean no one knows the future right now, so we don’t really know...

---

& House: Why? Are you trying to sleep with her? ’Cause the simpler technique is just to ask.
    Chase: I was doing something nice.
    House: Mm, no... Th... mm. No, that doesn’t fit.

& Wilson: You want... peanut butter?
    Duncan: Do you have prosciutto?
    Wilson: You like prosciutto?
    Duncan: I’m weird.
    Wilson: No, no. I... I like it too. I’ve got some in the fridge.
    Duncan: How about goat cheese?
    Wilson: I love goat cheese.

& Wilson: I could give you crap for making me wait 11 years, but instead I’m going to thank you for not making me wait another 11.
    House: Every little girl wants a pony... till they have to clean up after it.

& Duncan: Please don’t send me to the jungle.

& House: Why shouldn’t I take you off all my cases?
    Taub: Because you were right. I hate bullies.
    House: You work for me.
    Taub: You’re not a bully.
    House: Pretty sure I am, dickwad.
    Taub: I’ve known a lot of bullies... people who didn’t like me because I’m short, people who didn’t like me because I’m Jewish...
    House: Yeah, I get it. There’s a long list of reasons not to like you. You relentlessly mock, but it’s not for self-aggrandizement*. It’s because ideas are bigger than feelings. At least that’s what I choose to believe.

& House: You little Hebe. Here’s some ideas for you. You screwed up. You kept on screwing up. Everything you said is true, except... It doesn’t mean you walk away. You just learn to trust nothing. Everything you think you feel, everything you think you know. Question every call, play through every whistle.
    Taub: I just had a light bulb.
    House: Maybe. You can trust light bulbs.

& Duncan: If you’re going to get pissy, remember, it was House’s idea.

& Park: I’m not sleeping with you!
    Chase: That’s a shame.
    Park: This is about Popo.
    Chase: She’s not sleeping with me either, right?
    Park: You were jealous of me. My family.
    Chase: Maybe you’ve got too much, and I’ve got too little.
    Park: I might sleep with you after all.

& House: Pass the bacon.
    Wilson: I thought you liked prosciutto.
    House: Nobody likes prosciutto.

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aggrandizement — возвеличивание

On the Imdb.