The One with All the Poker

Friends 1×18

Rachel: I can't be a waitress anymore! I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips. I'm sick of being called "Excuse Me."

Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh, yeah. Why?
Ross: Uh, nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent "compuper" skills.
Rachel: Oh, my God! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh, no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Monica: Yeah, what is that? Like some kind of guy thing? Like some kind of sexist guy thing? Like, it's poker, so only guys can play?

Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Monica, what are you doing? This is a poker game! You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's got to be like chips or dip or pretz...

Phoebe: So then, um, you were lying.
Ross: About what?
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Ross: Heh. I was bluffing.
Phoebe: Aha. And what is "bluffing"? Is it not another word for lying?

Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, all right? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a nice guy.

Aunt Iris: Lesson number one. Let me tell you something. Everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Thank you.

Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? "Joker" is "poker" with a "J." Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's "jo-incidence" with a "C."

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