Employee of the Bearimy

The Good Place 4×5

Chapter 44

Janet: You don't get it. If you really want to know Michael's motivation, it's the same as the rest of my friends... loyalty, empathy, and love.
Vikki: Eww.
Janet: And that's why they will prevail.

Eleanor: You can keep the neighborhood running, right?
Derek: Well, I wasn't technically designed for this, but to be fair, I wasn't designed for anything.

Tahani: I'd like to be more useful. What is it that you Americans say? Uh, insert me, coachman!
Eleanor: Put me in, coach.

Michael: For me, it's scary that we're standing in the birth place of evil surrounded by billions of demons who want to destroy us.

Michael: If we get out of here alive, remind me to re-erase your teen years.

Chidi: Ooh! I love puzzles! They're so much fun, but they're also like homework. Win-win.
Tahani: Well, this one's a doozy because when you solve it, you get the answer to the truth about the universe. Spoiler alert, I guess.

Shawn: All right, idiots, this is our 52 of the 4,000-hour presentation on the future of torture...

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Shawn: Humans are worse than ever. We have to innovate. Sure, poking sticks work great, but should those sticks be sharper or hotter? Should they, counterintuitively, be less hot? Let's begin with slide number one of 7,000...

Shawn: As you are all aware, our current system suffers from diminishing returns. Sure, the first time someone gets butthole spiders, he's miserable, but soon the humans get used to it. And worse, the spiders get bored.

Jason: This part of your plan seems risky.
Michael: This was not part of my plan.
Jason: Oh, thank God. I thought you had a bad plan.

Chidi: Okay! Am I close?
Eleanor: No, there's like 4,000 clues in here. You found five. I'm just gonna skip to the end.

Shawn: These personalized skin suits are a true game changer. Imagine being able to torment a human not as yourself, but as their wife or ex-wife, or just some mouthy broad.

Shawn: What in the name of Kevin Spacey's self-made Christmas Eve video message to try to get back on "House of Cards" is going on here?

Jason: Listen, Michael, it's okay to feel or plead guilty about bad things you used to do, but you don't have to feel shame about who you were because you are not a demon anymore. You're just like a nice weird happy old dude.

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