A Chip Driver Mystery

The Good Place 4×6

Chapter 45

Bad Janet: Oh, hi, dipshirt.

Michael: Remember, that's the road map. First, we change the behavior. Then, we work on motivation.

Tahani: I've been through worse. Once, at Elon Musk's birthday party, I was seated between Silvio Berlusconi and Elon Musk.

Bad Janet: Can you just skip to the end?
Michael: No. I need to tell you the whole story.
Bad Janet: Why? Every story about humans ends the same way. Just tell me how they screwed up and put me out of my misery.

Michael: You're judging them too quickly.
Bad Janet: Trust me, I've spent a lot more time with people than you have. And I know literally everything that every one of them has ever done. Do you know what's happening right now on Earth? Wars, murders, women in $400 yoga pants are refusing to vaccinate their children. Vindictive nerds at Apple are changing the charging cable shape again...

Bad Janet: Where does this hope come from, man? This insane hope that people are worth the trouble. To quote a terrible song by a terrible musician that people love so much they constantly put it in terrible movie trailers: humans are b-b-b-b-bad to the bone.
Michael: Well, I think that they're g-g-g-good sometimes. And you should give them the b-b-b-benefit of the d-d-d-doubt.

John: Look, the neighborhood is obviously amazing, but it's also a little season four of "Downton Abbey." Beautifully designed, but a real snooze-fest.

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John: Tahani helped me realize that gossip was an unhealthy way for me to boost my self-esteem. But on the other hand, this Jason tea needs to be spilled!
Chidi: Just try to remember what Emmanuel Kant said. It is your duty to keep your friend's secrets.
John: But my favorite philosopher, Bethenny Frankel, would say that I have a duty to mention it all, and if you can't handle the truth, then you can't handle me!

Tahani: Perhaps I can convince Simone to handle this the British way. Smile bravely, bury your feelings, and allow a steady drizzle to slowly wash away your sadness over 50 years.

Eleanor: F that!

Eleanor: He needs to change, and walking on eggshells around him ain't gonna do the trick. We need to throw the egg right at his face!

Bad Janet: Oh. Middle-aged American male fragility. You know why they're called baby boomers, right? Because the tiniest little pinprick to their ego, and boom. They become babies.

Michael: That was it. We were forked.

Michael: For months, you and I have been debating. Are people good or bad? But as I watched those three people pick themselves up and dust themselves off, I realized we've been asking the wrong question... What matters isn't if people are good or bad. What matters is if they're trying to be better today than they were yesterday.

Michael: I hope you'll read it...
Bad Janet: Great thinking. People that get books as gifts always read them. Bye!

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+ Quotes on the IMDb