The One with the Candy Hearts

Friends 1×14

Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Chandler: Any contact?
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Chandler: You're in.

Chandler: Go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back. I'm returning your egg." I think it's winning.
Ross: I think it's insane.
Joey: She'll love it.

Chandler: Go with the egg, my friend.

Joey: How do I look?
Chandler: Oh, um... I don't care.

Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.
Chandler: Tell me it's you and me "we."
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is. But I definitely want to be a part of it.

Rachel: How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people.
Monica: I don't know. I think we're like some kind of magnets.
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.

Ross: I'm just saying if dogs do experience jet lag, then... because of the whole seven-dog-years-to-one-human-year thing... that when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles... he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses, like, a week and a half.
Kristen: That's funny.
Ross: Yeah...

Chandler: Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least, there's no new way for me to tell you this.

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