That's My Sweatshirt

Atypical 1×5

Bob, the manager: Your shift ended 20 minutes ago. Is everything okay?
Sam: Yes, I'm fine, thank you. I had curly fries for lunch, and I have a girlfriend now.
Bob, the manager: Okay. Wow! Congratulations. Tell me about her... You know, what's the lucky lady's name?
Sam: Which one?
Bob, the manager: Your girlfriend.
Sam: Oh. Her name is Paige, and she has blonde hair. She's bossy and touches all of my stuff. She was born in New Jersey in the same town as Queen Latifah, and she's coming over today after work.

Sam: I don't always love new things, but that's just a smart survival instinct. Do you think that a bearded seal would last very long if it said, "Well, I've never seen that animal before with the sharp teeth and beautiful white fur. I'll walk over and meet him." No. No, he wouldn't, because that's how you become a polar bear's dinner.

Paige: Actually, I brought a snack. But it's that dense, chewy kind, that maybe you can't eat the whole thing. So, do you want to go halfsies?
Sam: We could be like Arctic foxes sharing food with our den mates!
Paige: Card... Thank you. It's a system I developed so Sam doesn't annoy people with Antarctica facts. I give him three cards at the beginning of every day, and when he talks about Antarctica, I take one away. When he's out of cards, he can't talk about it anymore. Right, Sam?

Sam: Arctic foxes tend to form monogamous pairs... and their litters can contain as many as 25 kits. Twenty-five!

Sam: There are three options for an animal in the wild when faced with a new dangerous situation. They can run... they can attack... or they can hide.

Sam: Paige returned my favorite sweatshirt.
Julia: That's nice. When did that happen?
Sam: When she broke up with me.

Julia: Are you sure you're fine?
Sam: Most people I meet don't even try to get me. Paige tried, and that was nice.
Julia: That is nice.
Sam: The whole time she was my girlfriend, she bugged me. But I think I was so focused on how annoying she is that I kind of forgot about the good parts.
Julia: That's a... great perspective, Sam. Wise beyond your years.
Sam: She didn't even mind when I locked her in my closet.
Julia: That seems special and rare... Wait, what?!

Sam: It takes me a while to get used to new things. But once I get used to something, I come to rely on it.

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