Shots!!!

South Park 23×3

Randy Marsh:
♪ Happy 300 to us ♪
♪ Happy 300 to us ♪
♪ Happy 300, Tegridy Farms ♪
♪ Happy three hundred thousand dollars ♪

Randy Marsh: Are you guys still pissed off about the China thing?... You may not like that I do business with China, but personally, I think you guys having a problem with China is racist.

Doctor: Who wants shots?
Eric Cartman: Shots?

Doctor: Eric, it's just a little prick.
Eric Cartman: Prick!

Eric Cartman: Hey, guys! I'm back in school! Everything worked out. I'm allowed back, and it's all good!
Stan Marsh: You got your shots?
Eric Cartman: No, I don't have to get my shots ever! And they can't do anything about it. Because I'm a consciousness objector.
Token: A conscientious objector?

Eric Cartman: I told the school, I said, look you guys, I happen to have... "religious, moral, or philosophical convictions." And... And I said I believe that "health and disease should not be controlled by vaccination." Those are my beliefs. And besides, I don't want to risk immunizations making me artistic.

Eric Cartman: Can somebody get me a paper towel? I got a snot web here. Consciousness objector coming through.

P.C. Principal: I understand your frustration, but a government organization like a school cannot impose its will on a conscientious objector.

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Thomas Tucker: I don't quite see how it's fair that all the rest of our community agrees to this. Why does one family get to have a problem with it?
Mrs. Cartman: I'm sorry. It's just my strong, personal belief that "among other things, vaccines contain harmful ingredients. formaldehyde, aluminum and even mercury."

Stephen Stotch: Aw, come on, Mrs. Cartman, all major medical organizations state that vaccines are safe! The CDC, the FDA, UNICEF, and the US Department of Health!
Mrs. Cartman: Yes, yes, I know but... "we can't even risk a 0.1% chance of vaccinations making our children artistic."
— Well, that's true. There are enough artists in the world...

Mrs. Cartman: Don't you people criticize me until you've taken Eric to the doctor, and you've tried to hold him down! I'm a good mother! Don't you dare question if I care about my child!

Big Mesquite Murph: You say you got yourself a conscientious objector?... Well, you just sit tight. There aren't never no hog that Big Mesquite Murph couldn't catch.

Mrs. Cartman: Eric, please! You don't know how hard it is to be a parent! Sometimes we don't know the right thing to do!
Eric Cartman: So you go along with society and try to force immunizations on me even knowing the health risks?! What if immunizations made my friend Timmy the way he is? What if they made Jimmy the way he is? What if they made Token the way he is?

Big Mesquite Murph: Don't you question me! If anyone believes that the most common side effect of vaccines... anaphylaxis... occurs in only one per several hundred thousand to one per million vaccinations, it's Big Mesquite Murph.

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