A Girl from Arizona, Part 1

The Good Place 4×1

Chapter 40

Chidi: Whoa-ho-ho-ho! I can summon philosophy books like Thor's hammer. This is literally my number one dream. Also... ow! That hurt.

Chidi: Ah... and I'm... I'm sorry. This has been so overwhelming, I-I forgot your name.
Eleanor: Eleanor.
Chidi: Eleanor, right. Sorry. Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor. Now I'll never forget.
Eleanor: Well, you might!

Jason: And I'm also embracing you because this feels warm and my hands are cold.

Michael: And marching us into battle, our fearless leader, the pride of Phoenix, Arizona, Eleanor Shellstrop!
Eleanor: Technically, the pride of Phoenix is a life-size statue of Alice Cooper made from cigarette butts. It's outside City Hall. But thank you for the kind words.

Michael: With this team, there's no problem we can't solve.
Shawn: There is no problem we can't create.

Eleanor: Linda, this is Janet. If you want anything at all, Janet can bring it to you. Watch. Janet, can I have a baby elephant made of pure light that tells you true secrets about the universe?
Baby-Elephant-Made-of-Pure-Light: Shirley Temple killed JFK.

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Baby-Elephant-Made-of-Pure-Light: Stonehenge was a sex thing.

Brent: Ah, you know what, maybe it's a good thing, actually. Some journalist was poking around, calling all these ladies who used to work for me. You can't even make a joke these days! Everything is so PC. And I was an equal-opportunity offender, okay? I made jokes about everybody, and by the way, I'm the furthest thing from racist. My dentist was a black woman. I just think people need to loosen up.

Eleanor: For this first week, all we need to do is figure out what the fork is up with these benches.

Michael: We can do this. On three. Dead eyes, eat hearts, can't lose... Ah, sorry. Old Bad Place rally cry.

Eleanor: Fine. Stupid... ethical... reasonable argument. I wish you were a cake. Push you over.
Michael: Are you still muttering?
Eleanor: No! I stopped. Stupid, good-hearing, reformed demon...

The Judge: Shawn, I don't have time for this. I just started "Deadwood"... finally... and I need my daily dose of Timothy Olyphant, so I'm gonna make this short. If you so much as breathe on this experiment again, I will restart the entire thing from scratch, and then I will personally rip off your eyelids and make you watch heartwarming videos of soldiers coming home to their dogs.

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