A Girl from Arizona, Pt. 2

The Good Place 4×2

Chapter 41

Eleanor: Let's focus on Brent. Born on third base, thinks he invented the game of baseball. Guys like this believe that the world revolves around them because... it kind of does.

Eleanor: And also, bonus... maybe he cries like a stupid little baby.

Jason: I feel bad for making Janet's life more chaotic and unpredictable, so here's my idea to make it up to her. Me and 100 Janet Babies do a giant flash mob... just total unpredictable chaos all around her. Great idea, right?

Michael: Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason.
Jason: Mm-hmm.
Michael: Sorry, I put a little cheat code in the Neighborhood where if I say your name five times my headache goes away.

Jason: So... you're saying wanting to do something isn't a good reason to immediately do it?... Man, I wish someone had taught me this on Earth...
Michael: People tried. Mostly judges.

Brent: In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., who I personally believe was a great man, he said that when life knocks you on your butt, you jump back up and start throwing haymakers.
Eleanor: I'm not sure he said that...
Brent: No, no, he did. You're wrong.

Eleanor: If we want him to understand he doesn't belong here, ... we need to bust him open like a piñata.
Michael: We tried that in the Bad Place. The goo that comes out doesn't taste as good as candy.
Eleanor: No, dude, metaphorically.
Michael: Ahh.

Brent: This chaos is clearly all about me. This is the universe telling me that I don't belong here.
Eleanor: Brent, what do you mean?
Brent: I don't belong in the Good Place. I mean, obviously there's a place better than this. I belong there. In the best place.

Eleanor: I'm gonna go punch a wall with my head. I'll meet up with you later.

Eleanor: ...And if I could give you some feedback, I'd say that you're all ungrateful ash-faces who can shove your fat grumps all the way up your snork-box.
Michael: Which curses were those?

Eleanor: Well, good luck, forkfaces. I quit! Shellstrop out.

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Eleanor: I'm not meant for this. I'm not the freakin' savior of the universe. I'm just... a girl from Arizona. That's it.

Eleanor: I'm just a normal girl from Arizona. I ate junk food. I watched reality shows. I sometimes left H&M wearing more underpants than I had on when I came in...

Michael: Like it or not... the only one who can save a humanity is a girl from Arizona.
Eleanor: But everything I do blows up in my face. I'm like a hot, blonde Wile E. Coyote.
Michael: That's true. About you making lots of mistakes, not the thing where you sexualized a cartoon.

Michael: Come on, you know how this works. You fail and then you try something else. And you fail again and again, and you fail a thousand times, and you keep trying because... maybe the 1,001st idea might work. Now, I'm gonna and try to find our 1,001st idea. I hope you'll join me.

Eleanor: Ladies and gentlemen, back with her trademark brand of B-minus leadership, Eleanor Shellstrop.

Eleanor: You sure there's no other girl from Arizona who can do this? What about Emma Stone? She's from there. She's very capable. Remember her in "Zombieland" and "La La Land"? What's with all her movies ending with "land"?
Michael: You're stalling.
Eleanor: Yep, heading out.

Eleanor: I wouldn't have told you ordinarily, but since she's gone a little cuckoo bananas... that's the official Architect term...

Chidi: There are some great writings on simulated realities that might help her adjust... Descartes, Moravec, Zhuang Zhou...

Chidi: So if I understand your state of mind, it's basically solipsism. You think that you're the only real thing in the universe and everything else stems from your consciousness.
Simone: Yes, but to be fair, I only think that because it's true and I'm right.
Chidi: No offense, but solipsism as a philosophy is pretty juvenile... It's also impossible to refute because everything you see is confirmed by your belief. However...

Chidi: In a larger sense, if you go around acting like no one else matters then you end up doing things like knocking over cakes and pushing people into pools and just generally acting like a jerk. Why not treat them better just in case they're real? I mean, what do you have to lose by treating people with kindness and respect?

Eleanor: Is this what donating old bras to Goodwill feels like?

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