A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board

Young Sheldon 3×2

Sheldon: School's in session...

George: The pastor's been married before. Is it really that big a deal?
Mary: Yes, George. It states very clearly in the Bible: "Among you there must not be even a hint of... sexual... immorality.
George: That book is a bummer sometimes.

George: What do you think you're doing?!
Sheldon: Exploring the impact of the French invasion on Imperial Russian society.

Sheldon: I don't learn anything in class. But in here I've taught myself the applications of gravitational lensing, Faraday's law of magnetic induction, and how to whistle... Well, sound came out yesterday.

Pastor Jeff: Which one says "Robin, I like you" but also says "God is watching, be cool"?
Mary: The blue one.

George: I made a decision. He was in the building, he was safe, and he was learning.

Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Watching last week's Professor Proton in my mind.

Sheldon: But I like the way that Dr. Sturgis teaches.
Meemaw: Well, you might like the way that Dr. Linkletter teaches even better.
Sheldon: Is it lecture-based?
Meemaw: I don't know.
Sheldon: What's his interpretation of quantum mechanics?
Meemaw: I couldn't say.
Sheldon: Where'd he get his doctorate?
Meemaw: From the University of Shut Up and Say Thank You.
Sheldon: Thank you.

---

Pastor Jeff: Robin just got here. She looks nice, and she smells even nicer.
Mary: Come on, now. Uh, nothing smells better than eternal salvation.

George: So, what do you two fight about?
Wayne: You know, normal stuff. Who loves the other one more. Whose turn it is for a foot rub. Oh, the other day, we did argue about which way the toilet paper should hang.
George: Who won?
Wayne: I don't remember. We just ended up making love on the bathroom floor.

Sheldon: Same room. Different teacher. Same night. Different time. This is a real roller coaster.
Meemaw: Yeah, it's wild.

George: Son of a bitch! They don't have kids. That's why they're happy.

Mary: But you can't blame the children.
George: Oh, I can, and I am. Don't get me wrong. They're great. I love them. But you got to admit that they do not make our lives easy.
Mary: I suppose there's a... challenging aspect to them.

George: Hey. Think about how clean the house would be if it was just us.
Mary: Oh, my!

Dr. Linkletter: No wonder Sturgis went crazy.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

+ Vanity Card # 628