The One with Mrs. Bing

Friends 1×11

Phoebe: Do you think they have yesterday's Daily News?
Monica: Why?
Phoebe: I just wanna check my horoscope... see if it was right.

Phoebe: ...And he's the kind of guy who, when you're talking, he's listening... you know, and not saying, "Yeah, I understand"... but wondering what you look like naked.
Monica: Oh, stop it. I wish all guys could be like him.

Nora Bing: What is with you tonight?
Ross: Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Nora Bing: It's the Italian hand-licker, isn't it?
Ross: No. It's the one he's licking.

Nora Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold 100 million copies of my books... and you know why?
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Nora Bing: No, because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn 325 pages for a Paolo. Come on. The guy's a secondary character. He's just a... You know, a complication you eventually kill off.
Ross: When?
Nora Bing: He's not a hero. You know who our hero is?
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?

Joey: You broke the code.
Ross: What code?
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay. Maybe a hot-looking aunt. But not a mom. Never a mom.

Chandler: You're a mother-kisser!

Monica: Let's go, Phoebe. You know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.

Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door...

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