My So-Called Wife

Imposters 1×1

Ezra Bloom: Go away. I'm killing myself.

Ava Bloom: My 28th day anniversary present? It symbolizes what, exactly?
Ezra Bloom: Well, um, in the Kabbalah, the number 28 is the symbol of the wanderer, who, after many years in the dating desert, finally stops his wandering. And so we give a gift associated with the foot... Finally at rest.

Ava Bloom: Oh, you're so full of the bullshit. Oh, my God, what am I going to do with you?
Ezra Bloom: Exactly what you've been doing until death do us part.

Ezra Bloom: Maybe you and my so-called wife have more in common than we thought, huh? Liar. Cheat. Fraud.

Maybe it's like... It's like a boil, you know. You got to just bring it to the head and pop it and get all that Ava pus out of there. I'm sorry. That was kind of gross.

Ezra Bloom: Who the hell are you?
Richard Evans: Federal Burrow of Investigation.

Richard Evans: I am her husband. Yes, that's right, asshole. Just like you. She is my wife.

Ezra Bloom: What do you know about facial recognition software?
Richard Evans: Like "Mission: Impossible III"?
Ezra Bloom: What? No. Like iPhoto but, you know, much bigger.
Richard Evans: Oh, yeah, no, I'm a PC guy.

Maddie: I find that inspiring.
Patrick: I'm sorry. Inspiring?
Maddie: Oh, yeah, that little girl has potential. If I were her mother, I'd give her a prize.
Patrick: For being manipulative?
Maddie: For taking care of herself. Most girls take a long time to learn a trick like that.

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