The Keenan Vortex

Silicon Valley 4×8

& Richard: Guys, come on. How good can it be? VR is just a fad.

& Erlich: Oh, Richard. I’ve forgotten what an envious little crone you can be.
    Richard: Envious? Me? Of who? Keenan Feldspar?
    Erlich: Of course. Keenan was born with a golden horseshoe up his ass, while you sit here toiling away in an icebox you call your home office, cursed with the Midas touch of shit.

& Melcher: Aren’t you watching the weather channel?
    Richard: No, why? Is there a hurricane or something?
    Melcher: Worse. It’s cold outside. California looses its mind when it gets cold. ... Sometimes there’s actual frost on the road, you know, then people start filing claims like crazy.

& Gilfoyle: I’m not one to gush, but the possibilities of your consequence-free reality are darkly promising.

& Jack Barker: So, it’s cold outside. Why does everyone in this state have to be such a wimp about it?

& Gilfoyle: The VR is rad now.
    Richard: Gilfoyle, «rad»? You are wearing the exact same pajamas as Dinesh, and you’re saying «rad» now? You have been sucked entirely into his little... Keenan vortex.

& Dinesh: Richard, listen, it’s like we’ve been lost at sea for a long time on a tiny boat, and there is no wind. And now, through sheer luck, we’ve just happen to drift right up to Hawaii. Now, we can continue sailing into the unknown, and probably sink or die of starvation or scurvy, or we can get off in Hawaii... Let’s get off in Hawaii.
    Richard: What’s so good about Hawaii?
    Gilfoyle: Have you never been?
    Richard: No.
    Gilfoyle: It’s very nice...

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& Dinesh: Everything Keenan touches turns to gold, and you... are different than that.

& Jared: Richard, you are my captain, and I’m your mate. And I will sleep in the bilge with the vermin, and I will eat hardtack, and I will say, «Thank you.» And if duty requires, I will stand on deck, and I will salute you as we sink beneath the waves...

& Keenan Feldspar: Weird. I wanted this to happen, but it didn’t.
    Richard: That sucks. I wanted it too, very badly. But, um... you know, what they say in life, «You can’t always get what you want.»
    Keenan Feldspar: This feeling sucks.
    Richard: Trust me, you get used to it.

& Richard: I guess you can never really know someone until you ask them to put their money where their mouth is... You know, kind of a shitty thing to do. Kind of a shitty little dude.

& Richard: Uh, no, Jared, we’re... we’re not okay. We’re fucking rich!

& Monica: Keenan’s tech is dog shit.
    Richard: No. No, it’s not dog shit. I thought so too, but then I tried the demo, and it’s pretty amazing. There’s this point in the tavern, uh, where you meet this barmaid, and you can look wherever you want, however long you want.

& Dinesh: We thought you were cursed, but maybe it was just your proximity to Erlich. I mean, that dude must’ve driven a van over a bunch of gypsies in a previous life.

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