On the Road

Preacher 2×1

& Cassidy: 70 million circumcisions every year... That they report! And that’s just in this country. Think about that.
    Tulip: You know what, Cassidy? I don’t want to.
    Cassidy: 70 million baby boys’ foreskins, right, severed, harvested, piled up, shoveled into bloody warehouses, and you don’t want to know what they’re using them for.
    Tulip: Who’s the «they,» Cassidy?
    Cassidy: The oligarchs. It’s big business.

& Tulip: This is such a bad song.
    Cassidy: Shite.

& Jesse: You... Gas up our car. You... Mace your balls. You two, hold hands. And, you... Recite «The Yellow Rose of Texas.»

& Tulip: Nah, I don’t like that.
    Jesse: Like what?
    Tulip: That thing of yours...

& Tulip: «Superpower.» Please. No offense to our superhero and his superpower, but maybe we just showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time. We’re in Texas. They pretty much grow dumbass crazy here.

& Tulip: Unlucky start is all. That’s what it is.
    Cassidy: That’s what it is. It’s an unlucky start. Nothing but smoothish sailing from here on out, partner.

& Tulip: I’ma try not to exaggerate here, Cassidy, but out of all the stupid things you’ve ever said, that is the stupidest.

---

& Tulip: Sure, Jesse’s got sides to him... A good side, a fun side, the boring Bible side... But... he’s got a whole other side, a deep-down side.

& Tulip: Can I ask a question that isn’t about the dog and the different rooms?
    Jesse: She wants to know about the girl.
    Mike: Well, parishioners need help with their urges... Drugs, sex, Twitter. They come to me.
    Tulip: So, someone comes to you for help, and you put them in a cage?
    Mike: A covered cage. That’s right. To curb their urges.

& Jesse: I’m afraid I have some bad news.
    Mike: Obviously. Okay. Spit it out.
    Jesse: It’s about God...
    Mike: Come on. There’s whiskey.

& Tulip: Mesopotamia? Where’s that?
    Cassidy: I don’t know, but it sounds like just the thing, doesn’t it?

& Mike: Books? You call Heaven on an angel phone to discover God’s gone to roam the Earth. What book is that exactly?

& Mike: Look, I’m sorry. I know you had your hopes up. But that’s why there’s whiskey.

& Mike: Just say your prayers like I told you! No one wants to see photos of a sick girl in a dark cage!
    Cassidy: I think you’d be surprised, actually, Mike.

& Mike: That Internet is a soul-killer. Stay clear of it if you can.

& Cassidy: I think this is just a cover... Hide-in-plain-sight kind of thing. Outside, it’s a strip club. Inside, old chaps wearing robes, smoking bloody pipes and that... Or, even better, it’s just a normal strip club.

& Jesse: We’re looking for God.
    Tammy: ... Aren’t we all?

& Tammy: God didn’t come for the girls, you idiot. He came for the jazz.

& Tulip: What the hell were you thinking?
    Cassidy: You can touch the girls for three seconds, and everybody knows it! It’s industry standard! There’s a three-second rule!
    Tulip: That’s for food, Cassidy.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack!