Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.

Two and a Half Men 12×5

& Alan: Well, six is a great age. Potty-trained but not ashamed of you yet.

& Alan: Yeah, all those great father-son moments...

& Walden: I don’t even know what a good dad looks like. I mean, I know what a bad dad looks like. It’s an empty chair across the table from my mom.

& Louis: So, which one of you is the mommy?

& Walden: Oh, my God, that was like pulling teeth. Please tell me this gets easier!
    Alan: It doesn’t, but the good news is, you stop trying.

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& Walden: We spent an hour building a sand castle, and all he did was dig a hole! Who digs holes, Alan? Prisoners, they want to escape.
    Alan: Oh, Walden. Why are the pretty ones always so crazy?

& Berta: I got to tell you, we both hit the lottery with this place. Walden and Alan are the best. They’re nice, they’re fun, and guess what else.
    Louis: What?
    Berta: They’re easy to fool. Last year, I went to my granddaughter’s graduation seven times. And with that face... you can get anything you want. Welcome to Malibu, kid.

& Alan: Look at us. We’re like the Three Musketeers.
    Walden: I don’t think the Three Musketeers shared a bed.
    Alan: You don’t know that. They were French.

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On the IMDb