Truth and Advertising

South Park 19×9

& Jimmy: For years, mankind has tried to rid the world of ads. For our ancestors, ads couldn’t be avoided. But everyone knew what was an ad and what wasn’t. After many years, mankind invented cable, a way to pay for television so there would be no ads. But somehow, the ads still found a way. ..... The top scientific minds were brought together to find a way to stop the ads once and for all. They invented the ad blocker. Suddenly, there were no ads on phones, on computers. And everywhere, people rejoiced... But the ads adapted. They became s-smarter. They disguised themselves as news. All around the world, people read news stories completely unaware they were reading ads. And now, the ads have taken the next step in their evolution. They have taken human form. Ads are among us. They could be your friend, your g-gardener. The ads are trying to wipe us out. The question is how?

& — Hi, there. You got a minute for gay rights?
    Garrison: Gay rights?! Geez, you already got all those. What the hell do you want to do now?

& Cashier: All right. Your total is $126.39. And would you like to give a dollar to help hungry children get iPads to protect your Internet safe space today?
    Buyer: I will.
    Garrison: What the Sam hell is going on?

& Jimmy: .... I’m starting to think that maybe all ads aren’t so bad.
    Newsman Tom: Jimmy, you’re thinking with your dick.
    Jimmy: I am not thinking with my dick.
    Tom: Yes, you are.
    Jimmy: No, I just think that she’s a...
    Tom: Put your dick away.
    Jimmy: She’s an emotional, interesting, caring girl.
    Tom: Jim. Jimmy. That’s your dick talking. Believe me. I know how you feel. Ads promise us things. Ads are perfect. But make no mistake... All ads lie. And all ads deceive.

---

& Kyle: Jimmy never used that stuff, remember? He said he hated using the Internet.
    Cartman: How do you hate the Internet? That’s like hating titties.

& Bartender: Now, this here is a dry Riesling. You’re gonna experience vanilla after tones and a nutty finish.
    Farmer: You mean like someone put their balls in the glass?
    Bartender: Nah, like chestnuts, damn it.

& Leslie: Listen to me carefully, and don’t look at the glass. I feel something for you I have never felt before. I think it’s trust. The men in there are sick with hatred, and as soon as they realize I have no information, they are going to burn me. I’ve seen them do it to others. Please, you have to help me, Jimmy. Don’t let them hurt me. Please don’t abandon me. When the lights go back on, just look at me and smile.

& Kyle: It’s like someone’s trying to distract us because they’re worried what we’ll uncover about PC people.
    Stan: Yeah, like one of us is purposely trying to keep us from digging too deep because they’re afraid.
    Kyle: Why are you looking at me?
    Stan: Why are you looking at me?
    Cartman: Why isn’t anyone looking at me?

& Principal Victoria: Whose idea was it to revitalize the shitty part of town into an arts-and-foods district called ShiTpaTown?

& Principal Victoria: What’s happened to South Park is happening everywhere. 30 miles south of here in the town of Fairplay, they’ve changed an area north of downtown into NODOFOPA. A run-down area south of the capital in Cheyenne, Wyoming, is now historic SOCACHEYWO. Channel Street in mid-Chicago is being revitalized into Chimichanga... LODO, SOBRO, RIVMO... All happening at the same time. And it isn’t just in the U.S. In Cairo, the area northwest of the third pyramid is NoWE3Pi. Three miles north of Auschwitz is NoMoAuchie. It goes on and on!

& Leslie: You’re trying to find out what’s going on, right? But your friend is standing in your way?
    Kyle: How do you know that...
    Leslie: I can show you what’s going on, Kyle, but you have trust me. What’s the last four digits of your soc?
    Kyle: 2692...

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On the IMDb

Σ To be... Continued? Ended?