The Mystery Date Observation

The Big Bang Theory 9×8

& Sheldon: Oh, Dr. and Mrs. Hofstadter, lovely to see you this fine morning.

& Sheldon: When Amy was in my life, I was hyper-focused on my work and ignored her.
    Penny: And you don’t want to make the same mistake with the next woman...
    Sheldon: No, I need a new woman in my life to ignore so I can hyper-focus on my work again.

& Sheldon: That’s a lot of carbohydrates for a man on the prowl. You know what? You eat it; you’re married— it doesn’t matter what you look like.

& Sheldon: I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum: sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.

& Sheldon: All I’m looking for is an educated, intelligent woman who shares my interests while retaining her own unique point of view. She should be kind, patient, and most important, unable to imagine life without me by 10:00 tonight.
    Howard: Isn’t that a little unreasonable?
    Sheldon: All right, fine. She doesn’t need her own point of view. Now, chop-chop.

& Howard: What if we put a post on Craigslist that says: «World-class Caltech physicist seeking girlfriend. If interested, solve the following puzzles for a chance to meet him.»
    Sheldon: Oh, we’ll make the puzzles extremely challenging to eliminate unworthy candidates.

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& Sheldon: That’s it. The Sheldon Cooper Girlfriend Challenge is officially alive. Right now, somewhere, a woman is dividing the atomic weight of the best noble gas by the number of colors in the oldest national flag still in use...
    Howard: W— then using that number as the average speed to calculate the travel time from Mordor to the Shire.
    Sheldon: And... taking her first step towards a lifetime of laughter, love and, best of all... rules.

& Bernadette: Before I met Howie, I liked to keep close tabs on my boyfriends.
    Penny: By stalking them?
    Bernadette: No. Stalkers are creepy. I’m just a harmless little girl with military-grade spy equipment.

& Howard: No matter what happens, this is still a fun experiment.
    Raj: Not as fun as the night we blew up grapes in the microwave. We really have led full lives.

& Raj: 60 seconds. This is not looking good.
    Sheldon: One minute is a long time.
    Howard: I’ve been telling women that for 20 years...

& Sheldon: What if it’s Jennifer Lawrence?
    Howard: What?
    Sheldon: Oh, that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea.
    Howard: You thought she was great in X-Men.
    Sheldon: Oh, fine— I won’t shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence.

& Raj: We are the dreamers of dreams!

& Vanessa Bennett: The puzzles were... were really fun. I’ve never had to translate Klingon into ancient Sanskrit before.
    Sheldon: Well... careful, hmm, it’s addictive.
    Vanessa: Chija’’e’vlKub je. Or, as they say in Sanskrit... Ahm asman matey-bee ta-teyva.
    Sheldon: And just like that, you’re a Klingon-Sanskrit junkie.

& Vanessa: And I don’t need to tell you, there aren’t a lot of men who love physics, archaic languages and flags of the world.
    Sheldon: I am a bit of a unicorn.

& Amy: I don’t think this is working out... I’m... I’m really sorry.
    Dave: No, it’s... at least the same woman that rejected Sheldon Cooper rejected me.

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+ quotes on the IMDb