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South Park 19×8

& Butters: PC Principal is on the warpath! Run for your lives!
    Stan: Again?

& P.C. Principal: I just saw a copy of the school newspaper in which a student used the word «retarded» to refer to our cafeteria lunch policy. The word retarded does not belong in our school! Who is in charge of the school paper?! ’Cause I’m about to break their fucking legs!

& P.C. Principal: You see, the «R» word is very bad.
    Jimmy: Says who?
    P.C. Principal: Says me, all right? And I know a thing or two about the rights of people with disabilities.

& Jimmy: As the editor of the paper, I didn’t think it was right to censor the words the student used.
    P.C. Principal: Okay, well, from now on, I’m gonna need to approve the school paper before you hand it out, okay?

& P.C. Principal: Who does this kid think he is, challenging me? I said one microaggression to him, okay? One little microaggression, but that doesn’t mean I have an unconscious bias towards people with disabilities! But why would a person with a disability not see that what I’m trying to do is actually protect them?
    Frat Bro: Sometimes victims of oppression are so marginalized that they begin to sympathize with their oppressors.

& — Wow, this is so great. Have you ever read the elementary-school newspaper, Linda? There’s no ads, no sponsored content, no links to click on, just news stories about what’s happening. ... Do you know how long its been since I was able to just sit back and read the news? I got so used to getting news off the Internet, but I feel like I’m always trying to chase the news, somehow.

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& — It’s like I’m in a black void trying to reach the news story. But then the next thing I know, I’m reading and ad for GEICO, so I click out of that and try to read the news story, but it’s not a news story, it’s a slide show, and I’m looking at the worst celebrity plastic-surgery jobs ever. So, of course, I want to see the next slide of plastic surgery gone wrong, so I hit the arrow. But then the arrow wasn’t the arrow for the next slide, it was to take me for an ad for face cream. Aah! I wanted to get a news story, but I’m reading about face cream, and I try to click out of it, but the ad is following me. It’s... It’s following me all over the screen! No! So, I click on the «close» button, but it wasn’t a «close» button, it was another slide show. And I just want to know what’s happening in the Middle East, but instead, I’m looking at the top 10 scariest movies of all time. And that’s not the arrow for the next slide, it’s for another ad! Aah!

& Brad: Yeah, to be marginalizing persons with disabilities by asking them what their handicap is is a microaggression no better than asking a person of color if they went to college.
    Girl: Wow. You’re really progressive.

& Brad: So, uh, listen, I think you’re really pretty and interesting, and I’d kind of like to take you upstairs and totally crush your pussy. Would that be acceptable to you?
    Girl: Oh. Well, I-I guess it would.
    Brad: No, I’m sorry. I need affirmative consent. I’ll need you to say, «Yes, you may take me upstairs and crush my pussy at this time.»

& Brad: Bro, that little kid wrote that our tolerant views and fight for social justice is just a way for us to crush puss!
    P.C. Principal: But that’s not true!
    Brad: I know, bro! We’re being totally victimized!

& GEICO’s Charlie: Everyone’s doing it, Jim. You’re sort of the last holdout. $26 million just to write some news stories that get people thinking about their insurance coverage?
    Jimmy: S-S-S-Stick it up your ass.

& Sharon: Do you want to explain to me what Pussy Crushing is?

& Randy: Look at what’s happened to our town. We have ShiTpaTown, boutique restaurants, and artisan shops. We have a fucking Whole Foods, and that was all me! Diverse people are moving here. Everyone’s being aware of how they talk. This is paradise, Sharon!
    Sharon: Is it? All I know is that you’ve changed. Ever since you joined this PC thing, you just bully people and wait for people to say anything improper so that you can jump down their throats for whatever words he or she used.
    Randy: «He or she» is an agenderphobic microaggression, Sharon. You are a bigot.

& — The average human can no longer tell the difference between the news and an ad. You seem to have some mental ability that allows you to know the difference.
    Jimmy: Does this have to do with me calling the school principal a pussy crusher?
    — The PC people are simply being manipulated, unwittingly setting the table for the new enemy of humanity.
    Jimmy: You mean ISIS or ninjas?
    — Something much worse. Have you ever felt like an ad had... intelligence?

& — .... We even created ad blockers. That’s when the ads had to adapt. They had to disguise themselves as news in order to survive.
    Jimmy: Sponsored content?
    — If you really can tell the difference, then you could be the key to saving our species, Jimmy.

& P.C. Principal: We’re being labeled as meat heads who just want to crush puss by an intolerant newspaper. Yeah, and, like, if you’re gonna belittle and make fun of PC people like that, then who’s to say he won’t do it to other marginalized groups like us? I mean, this kid could be the next Hitler. And if you guys could stop Hitler, what would you do?
    PC Frat Bro: I’d rip that dude apart and then go home and totally smash some puss, bro.

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